How to Cope with the Challenges of Awakening, Part 1: Relationships

As many who have walked the path will attest, one’s spiritual awakening is both a blessing and a curse. It’s a blessing because should we heed the call, we find ourselves stepping out the proverbial box that imprisons our fellow man. The curse is that we must be willing to walk away from just about everything we know.

Yes, the price of freedom is very, very high! This article, along with the ones that will follow is part of a series on how to cope with the challenges that awakening presents. It’s for those newly awakening and those who find themselves still experiencing the pain that came as a result of choices made during their awakening process.

On that note, I must say that it would have been great to have a handbook for awakening, one that was passed out to each of us before we came here. But that didn’t happen so we must learn from our mistakes. As we rectify each one using the spiritual wisdom and tools we are taught, we will be able to turn around and help those following in our footsteps. I suppose that is what I’m doing here.

So, on to the topic at hand; family and friend relationships, or how to survive and rectify the blunders we inadvertently make as we begin awakening.

When I asked myself, what is the first mistake people make when awakening? The answer was immediate: not understanding how to handle our close relationships. A typical scenario would go something like this.

Joan has an awakening. She is excited and begins to study all sorts of spiritual topics, amassing a sizeable library of books, CDs and other items. She stops going to church and lets her family know that she has chosen another path. Mom, Dad, and siblings, all staunch Baptists, feel certain that she needs help and immediately calls their minister for a consult. Joan, feeling unheard and disrespected lets them know that she doesn’t need that kind of spiritual assistance and proceeds to try and explain her new beliefs. Her family recoils in horror and disbelief when she mentions astrology, numerology and her desire to be a wiccan. Her parents look at each other in total bewilderment and with tears in her eyes, Joan’s mom asks her husband, “Where did we go wrong?”

The situation continues to escalate with a flurry of phone calls amongst family members discussing Joan’s break with reality. Fast forward a several months. Bewildered and confused, Joan’s family has chosen to no longer discuss the issue with her. They feel that the family’s long held religion have been rejected. Joan feels unheard, misunderstood and that her parents have abandoned her. She decides that in order to continue her path, she must isolate herself from her family.

Though Joan may continue to evolve spiritually, this wound with her family will remain. If Joan stays true to the path, she will eventually discover is that once she has gone “out there” and acquired a certain degree of wisdom, she must then return to 3D (the box) and her family, and use that information to heal. That, I am informed is the real test of ascension — of a multidimensional individual who had discovered that they are a creator god/goddess and so must act like one!  With all that in mind, what steps can Joan take now to heal the rift beginning to form with her family before she completely alienates them?

• Joan can acknowledge the fact that she is the only one who is awakening; not her family and friends and that she is the one who is upsetting the status quo. Anytime we take such a drastic step, it is going to be frightening to those we love. Relationships have a foundation that is based on shared beliefs and behaviors. When we suddenly change that foundation we trigger a host of fears including, but not limited to, judgment, rejection and abandonment.
• Joan must be aware that her family and friends may never walk the path with her and that that is okay. Not everyone here on Earth has come for such an experience. Joan must love them where they are, respect their religious beliefs and not expect them to change or accept her new beliefs.
• Joan can reassure her family and friends that she is not leaving them behind, only certain shared beliefs. Furthermore she can stress the benefits of her new path by saying something like, “It is my intention that whatever new beliefs I embrace, they make me a better and more loving person.
• Joan can show the beneficial results of her new path through loving, compassionate behavior. This can take the form of inviting her family and friends to express their concerns about her path and have them validated. A scenario would go something like this. “Joan, I’m concerned about your interest in astrology. You know that’s the devil’s work.” This, from her dad who happens to come from a long line of Baptist ministers. *smile*

Joan’s compassionate response could go something like this. “Dad, I hear you and I know that you are concerned for me. If you’ll recall, you taught me to think for myself and so I am. Dad, I’m not sure what decisions I’ll make about astrology, but here’s what I am sure of. I’m sure that I will always love you and you will always be my dad. Ours is a bond of love; not beliefs.”

Notice that Joan did not ignore her dad’s concern, instead she validated it. Joan also didn’t try to change his mind; instead she focused on assuring him that her exploration would not change her relationship with her father. After 15+ years of counseling those on the path, I have learned that our families will allow us our new beliefs as long as they know that those beliefs will not cause us to reject or abandon them.

I’ll discuss how and when to share our new beliefs in next weeks segment.

Coping with the Challenges of Awakening, Part 2: Sharing with Others

Coping with the Challenges of Awakening, Part 3: The 3D Anchor Role