There are times in life when try as we might we cannot move forward. Even after daily asking our guides and angels to help us nets no results. What can we do in this situation? What part of our guides/angels’ response are we not understanding? Today’s message reveals one of the answers.
Though we beseech our guides and angels to show us the way, and avidly look for the signs, we continue feeling stuck. To further illustrate this answer, I’ll share the recent decluttering episode of my roommate, Kathy (not her real name). Before I continue allow me to define a few things.
Stuff – What I mean is furniture, clothing, books, food, fabric, hobby related items, personal items … anything tangible. Some people even hoard office supplies … go figure.
Pack Rats – Pack rats are people who accumulate stuff because they find it hard to take the time to clean, organize and throw away as they go. But they eventually reach the point where they are ready to let go. I have a brother who is a pack rat. He will accumulate tools and other items which he keeps in storage units. Eventually he will get tired of paying for it and put it all on Craig’s list, or just gives it all away.
Another thing about pack rats is that some are very organized and clean in their personal environment. Again, using my brother’s example, he is very clean and actually a minimalist at home. He stores his stash of stuff off-premise.
Hoarders – Hoarders are people who accumulate stuff and are heavily invested in keeping it because they fear they will lose out if they let it go. What they fear losing varies but I have found two beliefs that are common to hoarders.
- They fear that if they let something go, they will need it later and thus lose out because they no longer have it.
- They fear letting go of stuff that holds a memory because they are unable to access that memory any other way.
Common issues with Pack Rats and Hoarders
There are 3 common issues I have found with both pack rats and hoarders:
- They live in their heads, not in their bodies
- They have trouble remembering their dreams
- They feel overwhelmed by life circumstances
The reason for these issues is that pack rats and hoarders both have unresolved pain that is great enough to warrant living outside of their emotions. In other words, if they choose to be in their bodies, meaning that they are emotionally present, they will feel the pain they are attempting to escape. Their clutter and stuff is the physical representation of both their feelings of overwhelm and their unresolved painful events. The solution is to work through the pain with tools designed to fully clear and release it all.
Back to Kathy…
Kathy and I spent 4 hours going through her room, sorting, letting go and reorganizing. We ended up with only 1 medium sized bag of trash and 2 piles for donation. There wasn’t a lot of stuff going out but it still took 4 hours to get it done. The reason was that, as with most hoarders I’ve worked with, letting go is an emotionally painful experience. Most of our time was spent with me listening to Kathy as she told the stories, the memories, behind each item destined for donation. It was the grieving process needed to be able to release each item.
Two days later Kathy found she was finally able to move forward in her life. There were 3 things that she had felt stuck around; getting her taxes done, getting her hair cut (she has very long hair) and going to see her beloved who lives in Ireland whom she had not seen in nearly 3 years.
Kathy worked for a family owned plumbing company and ran the office for them. She got up the courage to inform her boss that he needed to find a temp person to take her place so that she could take the 3 weeks off. She had asked months earlier, but was given a list of excuses as to why it could not be done. Now, her request was granted, and instead of her boss doing his normal procrastinating, a temp was brought in the next day.
The following 2 days saw the taxes done and a new hair style. Needless to say, Kathy felt really good about what she had accomplished. And it was all due to letting go of stuff while working through the feelings that came up as she retold the stories around each item.
In closing, if you find yourself in this message, overwhelmed by stuff and unable to move forward, there is a way out. Begin by focusing on 1 closet or one room. Have someone with you that can listen to the stories as you work to release each item. Let them know that you don’t need help or fixing; just a compassionate ear. I think you will find that after each episode of clearing, movement will occur rather quickly.