Intimacy Abuse, Fat and the Inner Child

Before I get into today’s message, I want to take a moment to welcome all the new subscribers and reiterate the reason these messages are provided. So if you are new, welcome! If you are a seasoned veteran, please bear with me.

Writing these messages is how I fulfill my mission, as I understand it be now. Through the message and the videos that sometimes accompany them, I’m able to provide insight on what’s going on around us.

There are numerous teachers now putting out messages to help us all through these final stages of our ascension. I honor them all for their work. Each has a specific area in which they work. (Isn’t it awesome that no matter what you are interested in, there is usually a teacher writing on that subject?) The areas in which I am asked to write are:

  • the higher perspective of unconditional compassion (the 9D Perspectives) on current events,
  • galactic history as it relates to current and future events,
  • updates on Nibiru and earth changes,
  • DNA recoding and regaining our natural multidimensional abilities.

Yet, the most important messages (at least to our Guides) are those about how to work through the challenges we face in our daily lives as we move through ascension. Consequently, you’ll see more of this type of message than the others.  As the Ancient Elder/9D Nibiruans have often reminded me, all the knowledge of the higher realms, galactic history, off world races etc, means little if you can’t achieve balance, peace and compassion. Today’s topic falls into the most important area. It’s about another connection I’ve finally understood regarding fat (the inner child’s body armor) and emotional intimacy.

Fat—The Inner Child’s Body Armor

As I wrote in my most recent message, many of us experience weight gain when we begin the emotional clearing that is part of ascension (we must unload our emotional baggage in order to raise our frequency/vibration.) In that message I told you about a nifty little tool for removing fat and cellulite called the Fascia Blaster (Blaster). It’s been about three weeks since I began using it and the results have been nothing short of amazing.

A couple of days ago, while feeling the burn of working the fat on my upper arms, I became extremely irritated, as if working that area triggered some deep emotional release. It wasn’t because the scrubbing action of the tool’s claws felt like firecrackers under my skin, it was because there was more fat and cellulite to remove due to a 15 pound weight gain I’ve experienced over the last six months. Arghh!

The weight gain was caused by the extreme stress of caring for my mentally ill brother, George Pat. George had had a mental collapse last November. After nearly a year receiving copious amounts of love, encouragement, counseling, as well as, support from the fantastic staff at Johnson County Mental Health, George has made little progress. In fact, one could say he has regressed and as of this writing, George is back at the crises center. *sigh*

Once I realized that George had a deep-seated belief that was preventing him from thriving, I knew that there was nothing any of us could do. Consequently, I had him move out. Since that time I’ve been working to recover from the mental and emotional exhaustion — and weight gain — of the last 6 months.

Weight Gain and Relationships

What puzzled me as a stood working my arms was not only that I was angry, but that this weight gain had occurred with someone who was not an intimate partner (my pattern). No sooner had I had that thought/question, than a term popped in my head — intimacy abuse. Hmm…

Intimacy abuse — I’d never heard that term before. What did it mean? Instantly my mind conjured the image of a child being robbed. Ah ha! I thought to myself. This was a message from my inner child! She was telling me that she was feeling abused by intimacy. At first it made no sense because I am not being intimate with anyone right now … at least I thought I wasn’t, but then I got it. My inner child sees any relationship in which there is a deep heart connection as intimate.  Intimate to her is a threat because she has learned from experience that when that much emotion is felt, I throw caution to the wind and give way too much.

Going further, when I over-give I am robbing my inner child of energy that she needs to preserve our mental and emotional health. And we all know that robbing someone is abusive. No wonder my inner child felt threatened!

Suddenly the weight gain in a non-sexual, yet emotionally intimate relationship made perfect sense. My inner child began armoring herself with fat and cellulite soon after I began over-giving after my brother moved in.

The Solution

What is the solution to keep the inner child feeling safe so that she/he doesn’t feel the need to amor up? The solution is to establish and hold healthy boundaries so that we don’t over-give. Of course, this is easier said than done, but it can be done.

When taking stock of what had happened I realized that progress has been made; all these years of emotional clearing and boundary work had produced results. As I wrote above, I finally recognized that I couldn’t help my brother because of his deeply-ingrained belief which keeps him in a perpetual cycle of self-sabotage. That only took six months. But there was more. It only took me a few days to take action and tell him to move out once I had that realization. And most importantly I was able to do so recognizing that it was my my responsibility to keep him alive. That was the real reason I had over-given, I felt I was responsible for whether George lived or committed suicide. That was not my burden to carry.

I found this all very encouraging in light of past relationships It took me nine years to get to the same place with my former husband, Jonathan. I kept thinking I could not leave because if I did, he would fall and it would be my. The day I realized that trying to alleviate his chronic depression was not the answer, but giving myself permission to move on without him, was the day we were both set free. So, I’d say that nine years down to six months was good progress. Yay!

In closing, if you are struggling with weight gain in a heart connected relationship, I hope this message provides some answers. As for me, I’m continuing my recovery, but now instead of being irritated I’m very grateful for the precious lesson in self-love that my brother provided.

PS—Here is the right link for the Fascia Blaster: https://www.fasciablaster.com

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3 thoughts on “Intimacy Abuse, Fat and the Inner Child

  • October 10, 2016 at 10:05 pm
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    I too have been working with making my personal adjustment to a relative living with me (adult daughter) with neurological and mental health issues. Three things that have really helped me: NAMI completely free support and advocacy resources, Colin Tipping’s Radical Forgiveness, Dolores Cannon’s work on Quantum Healing. In my ah-ha moment I read free online the first chapter of Radical Forgiveness …my daughter’s name is Jillian so Jill’s Story I too have been working with making my personal adjustment to a relative living with me (adult daughter) with neurological and mental health issues. Three things that have really helped me: NAMI completely free support and advocacy resources, Colin Tipping’s Radical Forgiveness, Dolores Cannon’s work on Quantum Healing. In my ah-ha moment I read free online the first chapter of Radical Forgiveness …my daughter’s name is Jillian so Jill’s Story
    I too have been working with making my personal adjustment to a relative living with me (adult daughter) with neurological and mental health issues. Three things that have really helped me: NAMI completely free support and advocacy resources, Colin Tipping’s Radical Forgiveness, Dolores Cannon’s work on Quantum Healing. In my ah-ha moment I read free online the first chapter of Radical Forgiveness …my daughter’s name is Jillian so “Jill’s Story” spoke with immediate truth too! Thanks for your work which becomes such a cornerstone for me.

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  • October 10, 2016 at 9:41 am
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    Thanks for sharing. I learned this lesson regarding my mom and her husband who is experiencing Alzheimers. At first I told her I would think of moving in with the both of them and when I got the space to consider it a door opened for me to volunteer in India where I volunteered to work in the kitchen but due to a more emergency need I volunteered in the medical clinic. I had not told any one in my extended family that I was out of the country just my son who lives with me after I had eye surgery. My mother went to the hospital and my sister’s blamed me for not answering my phone causing her to worry is their message. I realized then I would not go to live with them because I would be depriving me even if I wanted to sit alone in a room I would be obligated to be involved with mindless chatter talking about her husband in his face. When I returned to the States, I called her and told her my decision she said she accepted it however it did not matter because I allowed her opinions to keep me out of relationships so I was not going to be the police in hers. Difficult decision but made nevertheless. I call sometimes everyday but even with that I skip days or a week. I have other sisters aND a brother who has opened their homes to her and my stepfather but she does not want to relocate and tells me she trust me. Grateful but can see through it.
    Sophia

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  • October 9, 2016 at 8:38 pm
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    I am so proud of you! My sister was going through something similar as you and today she came through it. Blessings and thank you for your brutal self awareness and the honesty to share it with us. I do miss your musical selections. Laura

    Reply

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