Comments on Walking in the Dark continued....
First of all I would like to thank you, I could not have described my main mission here any clearer than you did. Also it does me very well to feel I am not struggling through this alone.
I know the depressions, the obsession with feeling that suicide is the only solution, the feeling of going insane as I allow my inner world with all its
intense emotions to come to the surface and the struggle with learning to know what is really important and what is illusion. Besides the keys of
compassion (well my version of them) I also use a meridain pressure point technique (it is not called that way, but I think that this is basically what
it is) that helps me greatly to overcome my (huge) resistance to feeling. I don't know how you feel about using a tool that was developed by
someone else, but in case you are interested you can find more about if on www.emofree.com.
I wish you all the love, patience and trust that you can use (my keywords that help me continue),
PS I don't actually physically touch the points, thinking about them also does the trick. This makes it easier to use this technique also when there
are people around me, but the physical touching can be easier as it does not require as much focus as thinking of the touching.
Actually much has shifted since I wrote the article 2 months ago and even then I was close to the end of what I was going through to
integrate the fear that I described. The difficulty was the feelings that accompanied the 6 months it took to get to now & let this go. I can tell
from what you said that you know exactly of what I write.
Take care and thanks for the email & the info on the website....and it's good to know you're in this with me.
I have read your article, and as far as I know, you are supposed to play the dark role. Then I think, you have done it very well! - Someone has to
play failure, for someone else to have success and win.
I think, I understand you, because I have been in a situation much like yours, but now I am on my way out, and "the way out is the way
through". You have to finish the role fully before you get another one.
Go into the role and BE it, create it!. You have to accept it and play it fully with your heart and inner child. Then one day you may be ready to
play some other role! Try to play the dark situations in your imagination. Maybe it is enough to do that, or it will be more easy to play it in life.
With lov and blessings.
I just read your letter and did indeed resonate with it. Though it contained a bit of the maudlin, I found your communique to provide much
insight into seemingly intrinsic blocks as well as the importance of creating a truly healing/balancing and repatterning template. Tell me
more!!! It's time to do more than talk around something as important as the templates - for those of us who came in after the movie started,
you've got to bring us quickly and efficiently up to speed.
Which means- write about what it is, has been and will be. I don't care how poetic it sounds- you've been present through all this amazing work-
just recount the info to us. You have a style that is honest and raw- a little less raw and give us the facts
YES, Just Give Us The Facts- with the expansive explanations that help our minds knit a newer, tighter, stronger web of understanding.
WE NEED YOU- YOU HAVE YOUR OWN AUDIENCE! DON'T COMPARE - There is an answer for you- It's You! (As I hear Myself screaming same at me)
Well, thank you for putting yourself out there- I definitely feel like a fellow reptilian - I'm the perfectionist who can't seem to finish or start so
many beautiful things, and now I'm understanding why.
I am committed to coming through all this and establishing a new template for my existence- to making my exquisite contribution to 3D Life
on Earth and helping Dance it Forward to MultiD All That Can BE!
All Blessings to You- Aloha!
Thank you for coming forward and having the courage to write your recent article "Walking in the Dark". Thank You Very, Very Much. It
validated and assisted me to further "see" in to my own situation (and personal
relationship) and how it has paralleled your and Jelaila's relationship. I cannot know all the pains and hurts you experience within. I can
empathize with you, but I do not know all that is going on within your being. It IS truly a good thing that you are allowing yourself to feel now
-- so you may heal! There's a perspective I've heard about that talks about there is none so sensitive a man as one who is left-handed or
alcoholic. (Having gone through the 12-Step Program myself, I have immersed myself in much information along those lines.)
Let the record state that Jonathan Starr does, indeed, have a beautiful soul within and I love and accept you for who you are. And ALL that you
are. (whether or not you like it.) And, if you don't feel it yourself -- that is a key for you to seek within, so you may heal.
As you know, you have the power to change it! If we but, believe. As we know, patterns continue to repeat in our own lives, as well as those
within own family lineage, until someone steps forward to heal the pain -- or create a new template.
As I read your article, I heard very clearly how you don't feel "good enough". Or that you have "done enough". Often, our wounds trace
back to our primary caretakers -- or mother and our father. Until we honor that feeling, we do not heal. I don't think I'm really telling you
anything you do not already know. You connected with those attitudes in your article, when you cited your grandfather and father.
Jonathan, before I connected with the Nibiruan Council, I too, went through the 12-Step Program for Alcohol. When I realized that was a
Belief System unto itself (even tho it works for many) -- there was another step beyond. When I made a conscious effort to release that
dependency (through many synchronous events.....) I opened myself up to the Universe and came into contact with a program called "Your
Choice". I lived in Las Vegas at the time, and Nick (who originated the program) had a weekly group session I ended up going to (for my sugar addiction -- now that I had gotten over the
alcohol!) I thought a few individual session with him would clear up all, and I could move on in my life. I ended up going to the group session, as
well as individual counseling, and his workshops for the next two years, at which time I moved. (I did do a few telephone sessions with him since
, however I've created a limiting financial situation, so that hasn't happened much.) His gift of asking the right question which enabled me
to go deeper within, assisted me to clear away much of the emotional dross around my being. The Motto of the program is "Your Choice ...
Shift Happens!" I never went to counselors before, but my feeling is, there are very few individuals out there anywhere who can assist one to
move thru their stuff in such a short period of time and be in a more empowered position in life. (thus, fulfilling my own need and desire to be on the 'accelerated program'!)
Jonathan, as I saw Nick and went though his program, I ended up connecting with Joshua David Stone and going to Wesak in 2000. That
turned out to be my avenue to connect with my own Power Within. As I spent time on the Internet, one link took me to another and another, and
The Nibiruan Council was another one I connected with. Enough to invest in the Formula of Compassion, as well as the DNA Recoding
Package. It was my desire to become a Galactic Counselor; however it looks like my path right now is taking me another way. If I had unlimited
time and resources, it would be another story!!
Even in my keeping updated with The Council, I did not know of you and Jelaila. I was surprised. My own personal situation reflects yours, in
some way. When I read your perspective and situation, it helped me to see more clearly into my own. If I might share here..... (feel free to
delete at this point if you choose.....This is your chance.)
After Las Vegas, I moved to Nashville, for a job which, I felt, would enable me to be in a better position career-wise. I commuted for a
period of time, and for the first time, I purchased a house. That was around August 28, 2001. After the 9/11, the company that moved me
out allowed me to participate in a company-wide layoff. Coincidentally, I received the news at a training for one of the dealers while I was in
Kansas City. I cried my way home in the airport and on the flight. I remember a woman coming up to me and asking if I was alright. (I move
to tears very easily -- I guess I've been "blessed" with being able to feel where others do not.) Because I had a company car at the time, I had
sold mine before I left Vegas, so I was left with nothing. I literally felt like a space ship landed in Nashville, TN, and dumped me off. I knew no
one. I came here solely for the job. It happened my aunt was in the process of dying and said I could use her car (because she could not).
She ended up dying that Thanksgiving weekend I was there. My Dad died the following March.
For a year, I tried my hand at insurance/mortgage protection, and the leads they promised dried up, and in short, I spent a lot of time and
effort for nothing. Because my aunt had worked all her life and died with no children, she split her insurance money, etc, between my mother and
brothers and me. That allowed me to live that next year. Simultaneously, I went through a number of health issues, and actually did one phone
session with Jelaila at the time. It was my birthday gift to myself. (cleared up some parasites shortly thereafter...)
Through the insurance I met a man a lived with for nearly two years. He was from Harlan, Kentucky -- which is (my understanding) about a rough
of country one could every come from. His grandfather and father were coal-miners -- until his father broke the trend and went into insurance.
(while he drank). Dan's ex-wife and preacher husband had cut him to shreds, and he suffered from a lot of depression and suicidal tendencies.
Shortly after we connected and started hanging together, we took a long weekend trip out to Harlan, as he had not visited his father's grave since
his death two years prior. We stopped by his old house and the coal commissary, where they issued script. Dan experienced financial
problems and I invited him to move in with me. I remember washing his clothes, which had a stench about them. I figured at the time, I was
helping someone lift himself up. That perhaps, that was my mission. It's funny, how he, himself, often referred to his reptilian tongue! Especially
funny, actually -- he had never read any of David Icke's material.
Dan's belief is/was totally opposite of mine. I came to appreciate his perspective and continued to love him. He is a very good person, actually.
Jonathan, before I left Vegas, I was so grateful for all the healing and activations I experienced personally, I actually had told Universe I
wanted to help and be in a place where I was needed the most. OH MY GOD!!! Talk about being a Master Manifester!
When Dan's son, Cody (16) moved in with us a year ago, everything that was wrong in our relationship was now magnified. The premise of Dan & I
was all wrong to start with -- my heart had opened up and I just wanted to help him. He is very 3rd Dimensional. And, while he told me he
accepted my beliefs, he actually would call a good friend of mine and tell her all about everything --- from his perspective. Not to bore you with
details, after our agreement of moving out in December, 2004 -- and failure to do so -- I ended up going to court to have him evicted (he told
me that's what I would need to do seeing how he lived with me for over a year).
Whew! He and I paralleled my Mom and Dad's relationship so magnificently. I did take a stand for myself and decided I was not buying
into that program. He moved out the end the February. (2005) My mother died two weeks later. That was in March.
I'm in the process of selling my house to release it all so I may move onto my mission. My house has given me some challenges, and I miss my
mother to talk to. While I felt she never really understood everything I was going through. she loved me for just who I was. I was her only
daughter, as well as the only one in the family to move away from home, and I know she loved me when no one else did. I've had water issues
under my house and other stuff. I started doing my I AM affirmations and getting re-connected on another level. Unfortunately (?) I've also
hit the bottle a time or two. Like you, I am working to created a new template my father, brother (who died) and mother's father fostered
with their alcoholism and financial issues. Dan and I are still friends. I recently gave him an old dresser I had as he is attempting now to re-create his own life, in his own way.
Jonathan, it isn't easy. It hasn't been for me. And, your article I connected with so. I really appreciate it. And Love You for writing it.
Not many in this world would understand. But I think I do. On some level....... Certainly, it has triggered for me what the &*&#^% is going on!!!
After all this stuff -- and in the process of selling my house (keeping it clean is a huge challenge, not to mention some water under the house
issues) I took myself out last night to the Comedy Club to see a man from LA and his puppets (ventriloquist).
Jonathan, you know sometimes we just have a need to share. I'm glad I wrote this, even tho you may not ever read it. After all, that's your choice.
Once again, Thanks for Sharing your tale. The more years I live, the more I realize you never know how you may touch the hearts or lives of those who read or hear your words!
With Serenity, I Honor You! You Certainly Have Touched My Life and My Perspective. To the extent possible, go within your own heart and feel
mine. Because You Have Truly Touched Mine And Made ME Feel OK. About Being Here.
I was touched by your recent article on the Nibiruan Council website and feel prompted to offer a few words of encouragement. You are not alone
in what you are going through. These situations are hitting those on the spiritual path particularly hard at this time, while the rest of the world
seems to be continuing as normal. It is a very lonely feeling. We find ourselves having to make impossible choices, such as being with those that we love or relocating to where we feel at home.
I wrestle with this particular dilemma every day. Being British and a lover of nature and the countryside I find myself imprisoned in the Chicago
suburbs, having married a wonderful American gal some seven years ago. The pull to return home is almost overwhelming at times, and in fact I
spend about a third of my time back there. It means prolonged periods of separation, but being back there feels so right and we can still
communicate on a daily basis by phone. Living in two places is unsettling and makes it difficult to grow roots, but then that's the nature of the
times we live in. It also makes regular employment exceedingly difficult, if not impossible. That particular issue was dealt with shortly after my
marriage when I almost died from a cervival tumor, and the operation left me partly disabled. So it is up to my wife to handle the career and money
issues. The path she has taken is studying for medical transcription, a profession that is mobile and that can be pursued via the internet
anywhere in the world. So, we shall end up living part-time in both countries, adjusting the balance until we both feel comfortable with the lifestyle.
Being an outsider, it is glaringly obvious how entrenched America is with the work ethic. It is totally out of balance and getting worse. To be
unemployed is the lowest form of life. It also makes it exceedingly hard to survive, where the system prevents a person from simplifying their life
beyond a certain point, short of living like Grizzly Adams in the mountains. R.O.W. (Rest-of-the-World) still values other aspects of life such as
family and leisure time (France, Italy, etc.), although my own country is going down the same road as America. To break out of this trend and to
live closer to nature is no easy task, either socially or physically. More and more of us, though, are being forced to look for alternatives as the
corporate structure spits us out onto the scrapheap. In your father's and grandfather's day (my heart goes out to you) there was even less choice
than today, and especially in terms of freethinking. There's a very good article for July 26 on www. fourwinds10.com, Patrick Bellringer's NESARA site dealing with this work ethic phenomenon.
Take some comfort from your predicament, realizing that you are one of the growing band of free spirits, experiencing that uncomfortable
transition as the old world breaks up and the new one is yet to be born. Your marriage will survive this upheaval and you and Jelaila will find a way
to be together, at least part of the time. If you have the opportunity make your way up to Sequoia National Park and spend quiet time among those giants of nature. They have wisdom to impart.
In love and peace,
Thanks so much for your kind & supportive words. I can certainly tell from your story that you & I are on some similar paths. I know we are
fortunate to have the advanced knowledge that we have to work through this kind of situation.
Actually much has shifted since I wrote the article 2 months ago and even then I was close to the end of what I was going through to
integrate the fear that I described. The difficulty was the feelings that accompanied the 6 months it took to get to now & let this go. Of course, it still does continue at a not as intense level.
BTW, I was fortunate enough to visit the giant redwoods in Marin county which was great indeed
Take care and thanks again for the email.
I just read your newest article...your words moved something inside me. What you say about the Reptilians on this planet being enslaved
themselves, that just made me see how no one in this game can escape difficulty and pain. I've picked up David Icke's new book recently, and
even though he delves deeply into the workings of our world and likes to demonize the dark forces, I still feel a piece is missing. Yes, it is true that
there are dark, evil things on this planet. But it is also true as you say that those who act out the dark endure just as much if not even more
pain than the rest of us they are serving when they embrace their roles. I will never forget your words and I will always remember to have
gratitude and compassion, no matter how hard or challenging it may be, for those who are hurting as they hurt others.
I admire your strength and your courage for the territory in your soul you are journeying into. Your endurance is an inspiration for me. Thank you for writing the article to share with others.
I just read your compelling article on the Internet.
As I read, I saw that many many people have had this similar path, one of depression, feelings of worthlessness, shame, guilt, etc. Are these traits of the reptilian manifestation?
If so, many of us must be reptiles and not know it. How do you know you are reptilian? Is there physical proof, or is it just a feeling you have?
Do not fall into the trap of measuring your own worth/success to that of others. I have done that all my life and it just led to more depression. We must break out of that type of thinking.
I wish you peace, light, and blessings,
Thanks much for your email and comments. My own feelings about my Galactic genetics was always reptilian and when I first met and did a
session with Jelaila, she confirmed it. That connection has always been like a second nature...very comfortable...although I've met many people who are quite uncomfortable with it.
The depression, feelings of worthlessness, shame, guilt, etc are not exclusively reptilian by any means, but are certainly unshakable by many who are reptilian.
(I didn't see a place to offer comments at the end of your article, so I'm using this addy, found elsewhere on the Nibiruan site.)
Really, Jonathan, I just wanted to connect and say that I heard you so clearly, I felt what you wrote, I'm crying a bit as I write this and I
understand. Bless you for walking your path and sharing about it. (((Hugs)))
Much love and deep gratitude for you,
Please keep hanging in there, and thinking of the big picture, the templates, the timelines and everything else involved.
I lost my son to suicide last year. He was 22 years old. He had been given a SSRI antidepressant called Lexipro, not for depression, but a
runners stitch, side-ache when running. He was a runner for a school up here in Oregon, and would have graduated from college this year.
For those of us left behind, it has been a long hard pull. I have finally forgiven the doctor and honestly feel no animosity I know how hard the
last two months were for my son. He could hardly write a straight sentence when he was supposed to be completing his senior project.
Finally he just stopped taking the drug and it sent him over the edge. I had a lot of emotional clearing to work on. But I talk to my son every day
, and he talks back. My guides tell me he is here for a while. He has even taken trips with me, along with my father in law who passed on last year also. They are here observing for a while.
That has been a comfort. That and a "professional" pyschic in Sedona saw them too, with out me saying anything at all. That validated my own
abilities. But I would rather have my son with me in the physical.
The terrible sadness of losing someone you love to suicide is never ending. Please don't let your depression overtake you. It would be so hard on
those who love you, take it from me. Just stop and get out of your head and let the Universe show you the love that is there. No matter what
happens, it is always just there to touch you. Things will be all right, have faith.
Read your letter, Jonathan, and know what you're going through. I too, struggled with finding my life purpose, and was suicidal. Rest assured
that you DO have a purpose, and no Reptilians or other species can define it, or take it away from you. When the time is right, the universe will reveal it to you.
Meanwhile, try to find something that will help you to grow and be aware. You don't seem to have a spiritual perspective. Try to look beyond the
narrow concerns of organizations and groups. We are all a part of the Divine, and answers are found Within. Since this planet is on a path
toward a shift in Consciousness, in the next few years you will know there is something you must do that only YOU can do. Put all of your
beliefs aside, so that the Divine can prepare you for that time.
Your mind seems to be cluttered with all kinds of things that are getting in the way of your finding your truth. Find something to do that you
enjoy. Go help the homeless, or others who are in need. Go play in the sand on the beach. Do something you've always wanted to do, but were
too busy to do. Answers will come when you least expect them.
Know that you are not alone. The more you have experienced, the more you have to teach. If you wish to contact me, feel free to do so.
I've only talked to you once or twice and follow the movement of your mission through your emails and website. I am lightworker and a healer.
My purpose in life is to teach HEAVEN On EARTH which is achieved via compassion.
As I read your husbands story is was easy for me to relate in some ways. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. He has become aware that he is
carrying the same issues passed down from his parents. The cycle never stops till someone breaks the chain.
Let me ask you. Has he forgiven the people in life that have tested his heart via rejection, betrayal, denial? Through compassion / forgiveness we break the chain and move into the higher level.
Not trying to get into yalls business just trying to help. If you don't think he has then let me know and perhaps I can help more.
Please pass on a thanks to Jonathan for sharing his experiences with us, as sometimes it can feel quite insane and lonely thinking you are the only
one on the 'spiritual' path suffering such morbid terror, paranoia and darkness. You really do think something is horribly wrong with yourself,
and it the onslaught of it never seems to subside. Any feelings of 'goodness' seem to evaporate as the fear that feeling good will only make
things worse and create a reversal because you are denying emotions comes to the forefront, and you feel yourself slipping away into it again.
Please suggest to him to read a series called Right Use Of Will, channeled by Ceanne deRohan, if he hasn't already, which may help him go to the
core of his being and help him with his healing path.
I understand Jonathan's depression. It's, in my opinion, the toughest battle to fight. Although, if you make it through you are MUCH stronger
as a person. I call it "Soul Forging." It's the process of living lives and going through the trials and tribulations that you need to in order to attain your goal.
Tell him that he isn't the only one. I made it through and can look back now at his story like a father watching his child learning to ride a bike for
the first time. He needs to learn to just "flow." He's fighting against the stream when all he has to do to fix the perceived problem is stop
struggling. The depression is real only because his mind makes it that way.
As soon as he thinks otherwise it will be like the problem never existed!
For example, when I was younger I used to have some form of psoriasis on the bottom's of my hands and feet. I went to the doctor and tried
everything under the sun from creams to light treatments. Nothing worked. Then I made the conscious decision that I didn't care. I woke up
one day and said, "The hell with it!" I was no longer going to worry or think about it. No more picking at it or even looking at it. I considered it
all to be a waste of energy. So what happened? Surprise surprise! It went away all by it's self like it was never even there! So much for
modern medicine, huh? The mind controls the body not the other way around.
I'm sure once he as the "OOOOoooooh!!!" moment, everything will be on the up and up. Then once he gets his head straight, if you both want, you can get back together!
I just read your article "Walking in the Dark" (you are good with words). I was really moved by it and know exactly how you feel. I'm sorry that you are experiencing this.
I am just coming out of the same experience that kept me bound for almost a year (and experienced numerous other times through out my life
). I would bring up truths that I knew of who I truly am and still I couldn't lift the veil that was prohibiting me from my eternal joy of just being.
Everyone finds their way back whether this life time or the next, through those little sparks of gratefulness and joy and finding the knowledge in
getting through that dark time (lesson(s) learned). You know these things as well, yet still the feelings persists...
I'm just dropping this note to say that there is an eternal flame inside you and you are seriously close to feeling it, and unveiling all that has been hiding it. This too you know.
In the meantime, I hope you don't mind that I will be praying for you to find it quickly.
Peace to you, kind sir.
Indeed you seem by your words to very much not only understand what life is like for me, but more importantly, what it's all about from a higher dimensional perspective.
Thanks for your email, thoughts and prayers. Things are shifting already...
You don't know me but I read your latest column about your journey through depression and how you got to California and really appreciated
your thoughts. I don't know much about the 9D and the Nibiruan Council or any other of the things that you and your wife talk about on your web
site but I do know about the spiral of depression in our all, too real appearing 3D world. I have been there, done that and got the tee shirt
and the baseball cap! I have been in therapy for over a year and I must honestly say, it helped me reverse the downward spiral of depression and
for the first time, l took a look at a lot of my behaviors and thought processes that were not productive and literally making me miserable.
I have made my most significant breakthroughs recently, outside of therapy, from resources I found on the Internet, that I would like to
share. I know it is presumptuous of me and I hope that you will take this in the spirit that it is given. I know the type of pain you have
experienced and the negative emotions that seem to permeate your every waking minute and I hope this will help. (At least that was my impression from your article.)
The first website that I would recommend is http://www.emofree.com
This is a website that will show you an amazing way to handle the negative energy in your life and give you a tool to use for almost any
challenge you may have, both mentally and physically. This web page is a great source of information, founded by Gary Craig. I have used what I
have learned to help myself and others come to peace and experience healing. The other thing that it has done is to help me love myself, no matter what challenges I face.
Another area that I have been addressing is Inner Child Healing. I specifically am grateful for the writings of Robert Burney on the http://www.joy2meu.com website. Along with the insights I read by
Jelalia about the inner child, this site has helped me connect with my Inner Children in a very special way. I now am able to love and re-parent
them in a more positive, healthy way, than I have ever known. I am truly able to love and accept myself as the bright and wonderful person that I
was when I came into this world, before all the faulty "training" and "education" had taken their toll. I can honestly say I am happier than I
have ever been in my life and I am more relaxed just be-ing me. I told a friend that I was learning to be a human BE-ing and not a human DO-ing!
I also have benefitted from his wonderful work on co-dependency as well. For the first time, I have been able to see how my thoughts and reactions were intimately entwined with my need to be loved and
considered special. I am still working through many of the issues brought up by Mr. Burney and how it applies to me. I am beginning to see
patterns emerge, as I work with my inner child and learn how she has protected me all these years. However, occasionally she is still trying to
"Drive my bus!" but I am getting better at recognizing when I am reacting like my inner child instead of acting like the mature adult that I am. (BTW she is only 18 months old!)
All in all it is fascinating to me, that I am going through this now. You see Jonathan, I am a 53 year old former nurse, who, at one time, worked in a
mental hospital. It has been very hard drawing the lines between helping others and being co-dependent in helping others. You see, I would help
others at the expense of myself. I was so involved in trying to get the sick people well, I had no time to look at my own feelings or issues. I
wanted so much to be loved and appreciated, I would sacrifice anything (and usually did) so they wouldn't abandon or reject me.
As I begin to understand that it isn't my job to save the world and it wasn't my parent's fault either that I had the problems that I had, I am
slowly healing all those hurts of the past. (The EFT helps so much to do that.) At first I tried to blame my parents.( Somebody had to be at fault,
right? mmm....) But then eventually, I realized they were doing the best that they could do, considering they were raised in a co-dependent
household as well. As Gary Craig says, "It's an inside job." It's how we look at what has happened to us.
Anyway, I hope you will take the time to check out all these resources. I know they will help you on your journey just as much as they have
helped me. I do know that there is healing for you and no one is hopeless unless they have given up hope. My prayers are with you and I hope you
will throw a pebble in the ocean for me. (I live in Phoenix) Count your many blessings that you can be so near the ocean. I know I really miss it.
Thank you for your detailed & insightful email from my article. I can see you've been working on these issues as long as I have.
for me, the hard part is realizing that everything is ok especially when it doesn't seem to be.
Thanks also for the resources; I have shifted much in the last two weeks(the article was written about two months ago)
Thank you for writing such a beautiful and moving account of your journey and current space. As I neared the end I had a feeling I needed
to pass on a message to you and when I read your last couple of paragraphs I knew what that was. I would like to share it here with of
course the intention that if it doesn't resonate please disregard it.
I feel strongly to tell you that the key for you, to stop this emotional swinging back and forth which I know too well from my own history, is to
keep connected to yourself, keep the plug in to your own centre/source of power/energy as opposed to constantly being plugged in to your
reptilian 'mass' energy source which you have become accustomed to being plugged in to. The occasional gasps of air and clarity you feel are
the times when your own soul has called you back home and for those moments you are plugged in to yourself and feel ahhhhh. Then, out of
habit, fear, and yes an innate sense of loyalty, you quicly plug back into the mass consciousness of your galactic ancestry, just like humans here
plug for the most part into the mass consciousness of 3D humanity.
It is a new habit for you to create, to plug into yourself and stay plugged in, but one that like any other takes a definite committment, just like
someone who has decided to want to stop smoking or taking drugs. I feel on some level there is a 'guilt' feeling that if you do this you will be
betraying your galactic family, particularly the reptilians who you dont want to leave behind in that darkness, and certainly the many who have
been strong teaching guides for you. I have a message that seems to be coming quite strongly from one who appears to be a wise elder of theirs
but one who knows the bigger picture story (he seems quite compassionate!) saying 'don't at all feel you are betraying us, because it
is by unplugging, and plugging into yourself that you will get it, you will get why you are here, you will really start to do it with all guns blazing
and ultimately you will save us'. 'Leave us to save us' type of mentality, just like when on the aeroplane they say if something goes wrong put the
mask over your face first then your child's, which at first feels like ultimate betrayal and selfishness but actually is the wisest thing you
could do, because your child needs you alive in order for you to be able to care for him or her.
Also, another issue that is coming up is one of fear, fear of survival. For so long you have felt that your needs will be provided for by this mass
source you have been plugged into. As you have seen this source has provided success and abundance - but not lasting success and abundance. That is the way of that energy and that is for a reason.
However for you to have LASTING success and abundance this will come as soon as you plug into yourself and stay plugged in, because that is
connecting you to the infinite source that has no end and no limit to its abundance. The integration you so desire comes from this plugging into
your self because it is from there that you can access all the realms and energies and dimensions you need to access.
All will be well, I feel strongly about this. You have been plugged in to the energy of your ancestors, both human/physical and galactic, that is all.
It is time now to let that go, it may feel like a mourning and sad that's ok, plug into yourself and ultimately you will be helping all of them on a level
you will realise not so far down the path. Please note, plugging into yourself doesn't mean you are now disconnected from your family or
ancestors, you are still connected just you aren't using them as your main plug.
I imagine it literally like the electric plug you use at home and the difference between plugging it in to a source and having access to some
'radio' or tv' waves it picks up - OR plugging it in to yourself and being able to pick up ALL the 'radio' and 'tv' waves (ie dimensional, planetary
etc you get my drift) including but not limited to your family/ancestry. You will help very much in the process that will led us all to have the big
reunion party when reptilians and the light ones all gather together at a big cocktail party saying well wasn't that fun...not!! Not many people
here have within them the compassion for the reptilians that you feel, you can see their higher purpose, that is I feel very much a part of your
work, I feel the love very much right now as I type this. Well of course you are of their blood and one of their first to awaken, it is a special
thing. We are all each other's blood at the end of the day and that is the ultimate realization to which we are heading.
Please of course disregard any of this that does not resonate, I just felt strongly I needed to pass the message on. If you have any questions or
I've written something you would like further clarity on please just ask.
Wishing you all the best, and all my blessings to you and Jelaila and the wise and loving way you are both dealing with this chapter of your stories.