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commentsComments on Walking in the Dark

Hi Jonathan,

I stumbled across your website several weeks ago and began reading some of your articles. Your article "Walking in the Dark" struck me particularly hard... I could personally relate to your every word! It pierced my heart with sadness... for you...for me... and for so many others. It brought back many memories of those very same feelings I had experienced continuously throughout my life. I know first hand... the terror, panic, anxiety, despair, helplessness, hopelessness, abandonment, guilt, shame...etc. I came to a point in my life where I could no longer use drugs or alcohol or any other means of distracting. I traveled this road for the most part... completely alone... in the human sense, that is! I was not alone! In hindsight, I see this to be the only way to come to know the source my suffering. The universe was not allowing me the explanations and the influences of any external information...there would be no shadowing of my internal voice and knowing. The only place to seek the truth was in the deepest part of myself.

To make an extremely long story short...the ugliest truth needed to be faced! Physical abuse and incest was the cause...excruciating emotional pain and agony were the symptoms...poor choices made by those I was taught to love the most. Probably history repeating itself! Some of us repress the memories and continue to feel the feelings...others retain the memories and repress the feelings. I was one that had to forget...I lived with the one that hurt me the most...and this is how it must be... for most of us!Our minds may forget...our emotional and physical bodies never do.

I am a psychic/intuitive/healer. I work with those who have been traumatized by violence. The release of the trauma, reconnects all the severed parts...body, mind & spirit. One returns to a clear center...inner peace, wholeness and an elevated state of consciousness. The universe will no longer tolerate humans to harm its children on this planet...for we were once those children...years ago.

The name Jon appeared to me in a vision...I'm taking a chance by writing to you. I would love to have the opportunity to speak with you further. If I may be of service... please feel free to get back to me. Thank you for your time and for allowing me to share my story.

Cindy

Hi Jonathan,

I just read your new article. Very well written, and coming from the heart. You have done so much for me. Your presence in all of our meetings have always been very powerful. Your insights are so deep. I just want to express to you how much you have helped me. And the next template you build will definitely help many people, especially the Draconian race.

Specking of that, I am in Hong Kong now. I have been here for a couple of weeks now. A few days after I got here, I suddenly got the feeling some very unusual vibration is going on here. After a few confirmation from my own observation (symbols on building, people's look on their eyes , color vibration etc.) I know the frequency fence in fully in place in here. This is the first time I experience the frequency fence. Very obvious to me. I don't what does it means yet.

I am also having have to deal with almost the same feelings that you mentioned in your article. They are right there in front of my face every moment. It is surely intense. You are not alone in this. I hope we will all come out with a new path and a new way out. We will.

my love to you,
Connie

Jonathan’s reply:

How great to hear from you....esp all the way from Hong Kong! I'm really pleased to read that the article had significance to you personally as we have much experience together and I am honored to have been involved with you on such important matters.

I have now gotten to the point where I can appreciate my work and it's value.

Very interesting your perception of the frequency fence. I had a similar experience in a Walmart where they must have some version of it running as I went from being depressed & wanting to hurry & get done to really feeling glad to be there and wanting to buy more stuff!! It's interesting that you connected to so many feelings in the article...which, yes are very intense. I wonder if the frequency there was a contributing factor to the intensity of what you felt? Any way, the good news is that we can both recognize it, yes? Please keep me posted on your experiences.

Thanks for taking the time to write.

Much love,
Jonathan

Hello Jonathan,

I have just read your article, and I have also spoken to you a couple of times when I have called your office/home in Kansas a couple of years ago.

I feel that I have some understanding of what you are feeling Jonathan because I tried to kill myself on 16 December 1996, and your reference to falling on the sword as Samurai is very similar to what I did.  Luckily for me neither the knife was sharp enough nor was my knowledge of anatomy sufficient for me to hit the spot and die quickly as I had intended.

BUT and I do mean BUT, I was given the opportunity to go as low as I could possibly feel and to then be allowed to make a different choice.  I decided after all that I didn't want to exit this life.  Luckily for me my son came home and found me and called an ambulance and I was taken into hospital, which was in fact my worst nightmare, but I survived that too and I found some of the nursing staff were compassionate and some were very judgmental, which was a reflection of my own self really at that time.

My sister-in-law who is a theater sister, and whom I had not spoken to in the last ten years just happened to be on duty that night in the hospital to which I was taken.  I just knew she would be there when I asked the ambulance paramedic which hospital we were going to, and this added to my nightmare.  In fact it may have saved my life.  and it was not until I regained consciousness some two days later that I remembered a conversation with my sister in law some years earlier when she stated that doctors and nurses do not like suicide attempts as it wastes their valuable resources and if someone wants to take  their own life then they should be allowed to do just that.

What I have learned through his whole experience Jonathan is that I am worth more than that, and I am worth loving me as well.  and this is what was at the bottom of why I had allowed myself to get into this position in this incarnation.  This was the beginning of my learning to love myself and to value myself and to take care of myself in as loving a way as I had taken care of everyone else that I have loved in  my lifetime.  Of course it took me until 1999 to get to this point, to mull the whole of my life over and to come up with some answers that made sense to me as to how I had got to this position of wanting to damage the body that I had taken many years to make healthy using natural medicine, I was a qualified Homeopath, so on one hand I understood why.....and on the other hand it was incomprehensible to everyone who had known me that I would damage my body in this way, and those that knew me the best also knew that I had a dread of hospitals going back to my childhood experiences in them.

What really changed everything for me was in July 1999 I went to a Ramtha retreat in Aberdeen, Scotland and during my time there Ramtha said to me, "You need to love yourself and to have more self confidence."
 

I was flabbergasted.  I had not even thought of loving myself.  my life had been one of loving others, beginning with my parents and younger brother, and my other family members, then my husband and then our two sons, and then my friends and patients.  I had not for one moment considered loving myself. Well now I do.  I am finding new ways of showing myself that I love me almost every day.  In very simple ways like feeding myself nutritious foods and enjoying eating.  Sleeping when I feel tired regardless of the time of day or night.  Feeling joy in the fragrance of honeysuckle in the hot air on a summer evening.  Watching the sun rise, and watching it set and feeling great wonder each month as the moon waxes and wanes and feeling the changes in my biology body as this happens.

The other very important thing that I did Jonathan was that I sacked my
>Inner Critic and my Inner Driver.  As a Virgo person I was very critical of others but more so of myself.  I was a perfectionist, or liked to think that I was anyway :)  I was very hard on myself and had to be the best that I could possibly be and better than anyone else if at all possible.  Now I readies how this must have made others feel and now the competitive me is replaced by an attitude of win win and encouragement of others instead of criticizing them.

The other practical thing that I did was to have the white gold dental work removed from my mouth because as a Homeopathy I know that the remedy Aurum Met. which is gold has all of these symptoms, including suicide.  and I no longer wear any gold jewelry either, or only for very short periods of time, but having gold in ones mouth means that it is always being dissolved and absorbed into the physiology, including into ones brain and neural processes.

...At this time in the evolution of Planet Earth and all of her inhabitants, and you will know the history of us better than I Jon, my very strong feeling is that we are connecting to Source/God in a way that we have not had the opportunity to do before while in human form/density.  I feel that we can choose to feel and experience Love which I feel is our source, or we can make other choices and create our lives accordingly.  I am very aware of the Polarity Integration Game that we are in.  Or the Illusion that we think we are in, and surely this is the whole point of it all, it is what we THINK that we will live, and Attitude is Everything.  This does not mean that we live a Pollyanna existence, but rather that we have the God given Free Will to choose.

I will add here that I had an uncle on my mums side who had ended his life in his car in the same way that your father had tried.  I do feel that if this is in ones family then one has a far greater propensity to this way of thinking and also of doing the same.

I am certain that you know that the contribution that you are making to humanity now Jonathan is to mirror what so many human beings on planet earth are feeling at this time.  After I was released from hospital and sat musing over my life for a good few weeks, I realized that I could either use my experience to better understand myself and others, or I could remain a victim and feel sorry for myself.  I am not saying that I do not still experience days of feeling so down in the dumps I wonder what life is all about, but I am now conscious of how I am feeling much quicker than I used to be, and instead of asking "What is the wrong with me now", I consult astrology and look to see what is going on in a planetary way in my life, and the answer is pretty much always there, and I know that "This too shall pass" as my Mum used to say, and I deal with the way I am feeling in the best way I can at the time, and paramount in this is my feelings of love towards myself instead of condemnation and criticism :)

Thank you for sharing your life with us Jonathan.  I am honored to know you and to be sharing this journey of life and discovery with you.

With Love and Blessings and Hugs,
Barbara. :)

Jonathan’s Reply:

Thanks so much, Barbara,  for your very deep and meaningful e-mail. I can certainly tell that we are on similar paths with comparable understandings, and that is in and of itself uplifting. Writing the article was very healing and centering and many days are better, but the intent/purpose remains concrete either way.

Thanks again for sharing such an intimate part of yourself.

Barbara’s response:

Hi Jonathan,

I do not think that anyone who has not experienced depression can really
understand how it feels can they.  Sir Winston Churchill used to call it his
"Black Dog".  and he took up painting which he found alleviated it a great
deal, and doing practical things like building a brick wall. :)

Some of us tend to live a great deal in our heads I 'think' :)  and doing practical, physical things can help sometimes.  lately I have just felt so weary that the only thing to do is sleep, and when I give myself permission to do this, I always feel so much better for a good long sleep, but before I can get to that I always seem to be critical of myself for feeling the way that I do.  Criticism and self condemnation again, and once I become conscious of the way I am feeling, and I did this in the past week, I realized that it would be an act of loving myself to just go to bed and sleep for as long as I needed to, and not criticize myself for doing so :)

Haven't I read in "We are the Nibiruans" that one of your names is Snakedancer ?  this is interesting because i have had the feelings on a couple of occasions in my life that i have shed a  skin in the same way that a snake does.  it feels like shedding a skin of my life and beginning a new chapter.  i try to not let my thoughts dwell too much on my past and to re-create my future utilizing my experiences and lessons of my past life[s] to create my present and future.

Not easy this life is it ?  but very worthwhile and i know so much more now than i did in 1996.  I know that many of us have chosen again and again in recent years to remain here on Mother Earth when all we really wanted to do was to 'go home' and have a rest :)  i have to say that it is
usually my curiosity that keeps me here.  I want to be a part of whatever it is I signed up to be here for ~ Teacher and Healer according to Jelaila when I had a session with her some years back now.

It is said that depression and insomnia is at an all time high in our world right now Jonathan.  Most GP's just dish out antidepressants and that is it, and then the suicides increase because of the side effects of many antidepressants.  Perhaps our work is to offer an alternative because we have 'been there, done that'  and we understand it.  Depression is not like anything else is it ?  there are no spots or broken bones or anything physical for people to see and understand and empathize or sympathize with.  Many are afraid of depression I think, and many more think that we should 'pull ourselves together and get on with our lives', which shows how little understanding they have of the condition.

Many years ago an astrologer said that he expected that I had worked out a strategy to deal with these times in my life.  Well at that time I had not, and even now it sometimes takes me several days to even recognize how I am feeling once again, and several more to put any sort of strategy into place to deal with it.  Ramtha says that the quickest way out of depression is to allow ourselves to really WALLOW in it.  let ourselves feel really sorry for ourselves etc.  I have tried this and I have to say that it works for me.  This I think is because subconsciously I am trying to fight it off or not recognize and accept that i am feeling depressed again, denial with a capital D.  As with all of the healing each of us does individually on our planet, it affects all of us.  think of the contribution we are making Jonathan :)

With Much Love and Blessings to You.
Barbara

Jonathan’s Reply:

Wow, you and I must have the same parents or something! I totally connect with all you say.

RE: Haven'tI read in "We are the Nibiruans" that one of your names is
snakedancer?
Yes...we've probably danced together!

RE: I can get to that I always seem to be critical of myself
for feeling the way that I do and Ramtha says that the quickest way out of depression is to allow ourselves to really WALLOW in it not only do I agree, but it's been my experience that most of my pain comes not  from what I am feeling, but the idea that it should be different! Once I adjust that perspective, I can just be depressed which by comparison to depressed & it should be different is pretty mild.

RE: Think of the contribution we are making Jonathan...
Thanks to emails like yours, I'm really believing that & taking it to heart. I guess that's higher dimensional acceptance

Take care...
Jonathan

Hi Jonathan,

My name is Kathy from Southampton England. I read your article this morning, by sharing your story you are reaching many who are suffering in their darkness. Your article is more powerful than you can comprehend it gives out a great message of hope to others. Do not feel that you are a failure we view you as a very successful master. Your journey has been very hard for you to endure yet you are still here working through your stuff. Please be more gentle and kind to yourself and next time you go to the beach look up because I will be there with you so make sure you are listening. You will feel my

my joyful energy lifting you up, allow the energy to flow through your crown right down to your toes.

This is my blessing to you for all your hard work.

Joy Love & Light;
Kathy

Dear Jonathan

I have to tell you first  that this is kind of bizzare for me! If you will bear with me, I will share my story with you. I have known for a while that I would eventually do so; I thought that I would end up sharing with your wife instead...

I have been quietly watching for a while.

I have had my memories for several years and none of them truly ever made any sense. My life was filled with pain, abusive relationships, depression, guilt (with its inherent punishment), shame and blame. I constantly wondered why my life just wasn't working. Here, I had been a student of metaphysics, had some unusual talents and WHY could I just never seem to bring into my life better things?

It has been a 10 year journey and things are finally starting to shape up!
My memories began perhaps 6 years ago...I was a small child living on a planet that was attacked. My mother died in the attack, I had no idea where my father was, and a male relative was taking me to a place where I would be met by someone who was going to keep me safe. I ended up being taken to another planet. I remember all of this quite clearly.

About a year and a half ago, I had a major wake-up call. I was shown, repeatedly, how I refused to take responsibility for things in my life. So, with much pain, self-recrimination and tears, I stepped up to the plate. Then I started to remember even more...and I began to research the events that I remember taking place. People started showing up to support me, and finally, I dug my way out of the deep, dark pit that was my life.

My memories come in 2 phases. I am only going to share the first part with you. I will tell you what I did--what freed me--that I learned from the second part.

I have read your wife's book, and my memories of my life on this planet, and my subsequent experience on Nibiru are not exactly the same. However, I hope that you can keep an open mind, and that you can release that which holds you bound at this time.

My mother, in that lifetime, was a child of the Dragon Queen that ruled this earth. I remember living in the court of the Dragon Queen, and what she looked like. I remember her in anger and the way her skin would change colours--but that is a whole 'nother Oprah. In the attack, my mother died. She died of exposure to the radiation and she was very ill. I was kept away from her and found it to be distressing.

My father was a different story...My father was an emissary/ambassador from A. Draconis to Nibiru. He was born into a family of healers/teachers/oracles and was being groomed for a higher place in the family workings. He had dealings on earth before the time of the attack, as well as being attached to Nibiru. During the time of the attack, he was on Nibiru. Once it was clear that I was safe, I was sent to Nibiru to be with him.

I have many memories of the the things I learned, my training in genetics, the healing work I learned. I had exposure to Carians, as well as other Dragons, and Felines. My childhood in this lifetime was one of learning to control my abilities and to embrace the full capacity of my abilities. The more I heal, the more my abilities expand. I remember many lifetimes as a healer beginning with my time in Atlantis and Egypt.

Dragons are the keepers of the mysteries. Dragons established the Mystery Schools here on this planet. Dragons are respected by the aboriginal tribes, the Gaelic peoples and the Asian races. Things, my friend, are not always as they seem. The Black Madonna holds the secrects of death AND LIFE. This I know to be true.

What you may choose to do at this time is release yourself from any contracts that you have made. I will give you words to speak to support you in this. These words are modified from Lynn Grabhorn's book, "Dear God! What is Happening to Us?"

State aloud, in the shower is preferable, the following: "From the Light of the Creator that I am, be it known that I hereby cancel any and all contracts and/or agreements that I have made with ANY entity, in any time frame or in any reality on any layer, level or dimension, that were not in my best interest or in the interest of the Light, or that were made with entities who were not of 100% pure light. I further declare that the cancellation of all such contracts and agreements is to be irrevocable and permanent in all time frames, realities, through all generations of time and through all eternities on all layers, levels and dimensions."

Then seek your essence in some form of meditation...you will most likely be asked to replace it somewhere in your energy system.

Some books to read: Laurence Gardner's "The Realm of the Ring Lords," Jeremy Narby's "The Cosmic Serpent," Dan Brown's, "The Da Vinci Code," Sue Monk Kidd's "The Secret Life of Bees," anything about the Black Madonna, Mary Magdalene--I like Gardner's works, Barbara Hand Clow's book "The Signet of Atlantis." These books all helped me to understand that to hold the polarity of the dark is a fine thing--a necessary thing. The Dark holds the Void of Creation and Chaos and All Possibilities. The Dark holds power yet to be known, and it takes a strong being to guard its Gates. For the Light would not know itself without the Dark! There is healing and peace for you. I speak the words for you, and they are powerful and true.

Blessings to you!
Marnie

Jonathan’s Reply:

Hey, thanks for sharing your galactic memories...they feel as real as they certainly are! Just like stories from home.

I don't get why, if I'm working to change reality on this planet and create a way out for certain individuals, I would want to release myself from any contracts that I have made. Your idea is even more confusing to me in asking for beings of "100% pure light" & "interest of the Light" when we are in a Polarity Integration Game to reach Compassion... the midway point between the polarities of Light & Dark. Am I missing something?

Best regards,
Jonathan

Hi Jonathan,

Well I red your article, and I can see that you are taking a deeper way of your Christ-education than Jelaila, she takes a lighter way and she shall not be here as long as you (on Earth).

Yes I know it can be difficult to live together, I lived 9 years with a girl "from the angels" and we split because that I take the deep Christ way and thereby suffer a lot, while she did her angel work and she was always tired in her spare time, and I have the opposite problem I donate sleep so much, but we helped each other and its OK

Love,
Frederick  (one of the star people here, are connected to Ashtar Star Command and The Big White Brotherhood)

Hey Jonathan,

I am so glad you are writing again. Talking with you and reading your articles has helped me more than you realize. I love to be reassured that I’m really not going totally crazy and that everything is as it should be. It’s great to hear what you are up to, too. That article came at the perfect time for me. I am feeling the same exact thing right now. My life has just gotten crazier and crazier. But I think I’m finally seeing how much I need to slow down and take one step at a time instead of zipping through rips in space to try to get rid of all the pain at once. What a year it’s been!!!!

Thanks again,
Rachel

Jonathan’s reply:

Well HELLO Rachel!! So good to hear from a girl that I know knows what "crazy and knowin' it" is all about!

Glad to hear you're hangin' in there 'cause I know it can get pretty intense. Also appreciate reading that you've gotten some value from the article because when I was writing it I was wondering if anyone would, but so far I've received 40 emails so there are more of us! One step at a time definitely helps!

Take care & stay in touch as you care to,
Jonathan

Sir,

What you are experiencing is the shift that occurs when you cross to the New Earth and the old crumbles down for to the new.

It sounds and feels like insanity because there is a lot of old energy leaving your old energy configuration.  It is been born a second time without having to pass the process of death and birth. Parts of you are dying, but you still have the same body. Now you have a new life, and your body is preparing for accommodate the ascended being that you already are.

You can stay with Jelaila, but you must give time to synchronize your energies again, and the separation (energetically) is only temporary and a new opportunity to fall in love with the new person you are becoming.  Besides, every human must past this period, which last seven years and for you is suppose to end in 2012. Jelaila has to get through this period too and it would be good to have someone who understand. 

Love yourself, because this new energy in you is in the most high and elevated love frequency.  You are leaving the mass consciousness because you are complete in yourself and this is a new level of liberty that the humans have not experimented until now.  You had worked a lot to reach this point, and you are a forerunner for others. This period announce victory and realization.

You are not alone in your new consciousness level and this is what you have asked for. Take responsibility for your new condition as an ascended human who walks the Earth integrating the new energy that make possible for you to stay on the planet and be a master for others.

Please, take care of yourself, and understand that you don't have to suicide because there is a new contract, a new level of spiritual work that you are just preparing yourself to get into, if so you choose.  You can leave the planet, but you have work so hard to be just where you are right now, that it would be a waste. 

My words are hard, because I want you to understand that your life in the New Earth is another life, and you can not bring the old energy earth to this brand new space, unless things, like your relationship to Jelaila, are elevated to this new energetic level.

Please, again, take care of yourself, and ask assistance to the ascended beings in the other side of the veil and to the ones on the planet, who like you, passed through this process and right now are ascended humans in service to all Humanity.

In love...
Maryann
I'am your ascended friend and I have walked the road you are walking now. You are not alone.

Hey Jonathan,

I felt so good after reading your article, as I wipe a little tear from I eye. The words in it was what I needed and was ready to hear. Your life lessons have also bled into my learnings, and I'm so grateful that you were willing to live with gripping depression so that others like myself could be helped out of the murkiness.

This part will stay with me the most...

"As I understand it, no reptilian has ever walked this path before.  The path that I am referring to is that of valuing one self above the belief that one must do, accomplish and be successful in order to earn the day to day right to be here, to be alive."

I cannot tell you how much you have done for me, just by sharing your journey with all of us. Whooohooo!!,

Love,
Laura


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