Comments on Feeling the Fear is Part of the Contract
I've recently found the Nibiruan Council site and, like alot of people, feel moved to write, to reach out and connect. It's wonderful to have this
information "out there" and it resonates with alot of what I have felt all my life.
I am in the process of ascending/recoding my DNA (to be honest I'm in the middle of Lightbody sessions and have learnt some of the language
but don't honestly know what it all means yet!) I am processing at a fast rate since initially receiving some channelled information about my
being a starseed ( I'm not ready to go "public" about exactly where I'm from or what my mission is yet, I need to know┬ more before doing so,
but have been assured that I will learn more "as and when"!)
What I really want to say is that I have found some very valuable and useful bits of information in the material that I have read so far - and I
would like to learn more about the "heart cracking open" ( someone mentioned this in a letter to Jelaila ) if possible please. I have ordered
Jelaila's first book, however, if the information I'm looking for is not in there I would appreciate knowing where to search for it.
I have also found what I have read about the ninth dimension,┬ and it being about integrating dark and light, very interesting as this is
something that I feel I have been doing my whole lifetime, and I was told via the channelled information, that I/my planet resonates with the ninth dimension.
My last major block ( I think! ) is one of responsibility and choice. You see I've felt crazed with an emotional pain so intense, that I didn't want
to be born and tried to "go back" very early on in this lifetime, however, I was "told" that if I went back in this lifetime then I would have to come
back again, and again and again, until I completed what I had "agreed" to do. It has felt like a real hell on earth - not wanting to be here but
"having to be". Having read your article, "Feeling the Fear is Part of the Contract", I do accept this issue of free will but I think that there is a
qualifier here in that sometimes we make a choice leading down a particular path and we can then reach a point where we do not have a
choice but to continue down that path! This is how I understand my life to be, but I can honestly say that it is now getting better and better
and I am beginning to feel some peace on earth.
Thank you for your living example, and thank you for reading this e-mail - it's nice to have someone to share these thoughts and feelings with.
Yours, with love,
Fear, fear oh my god have I got fear but I have to keep reminding myself that none of this is real. I saw the movie the 13th Floor this weekend and
I just wanted to go take that road to the end of the computer game...Thanks I needed that reminder. I have been going through some major
physical and emotional pain and my angels sent me the messenger. Let's all remember to continue to "go for the gold", not buying into the fear,
and live out our contracts with reckless abandon.
Comments on Comparing Only Leads to Pain
Thank you very much for your article on comparing. I will try and remember what you have said as I have often been angry with myself
and my way - I seem to lumber slowly across the landscape, unable to move on until the foundation for a change has been built so solidly and so painfully deep.
Best wishes with your work, and many thanks for your website which is putting together patches of information I heard or saw here and there
into a very clear picture - I am very grateful to you and Jelaila. (as well for the technical competence and clarity of the site - it is one of the
best I have visited. Please pass on my compliments to whoever administers it.
I can totally relate to what you said about this topic. I am doing much better now, but every once in a while I still fall into the same extremely
painful pattern of comparing my pace of evolvement to others. I found it out for myself, during my very typically Reptilian, intense spiritual journey
, that I should NEVER compare myself to others. Why? Because if I truly trust the Creator, I MUST know that if I do my best, I am exactly where I
am suppused to be, no matter, where my other brothers and sisters are. I am a lot more peaceful now.
Much love to you and Jonathan!
We re living in an exciting time period...thank you for continuing to share your messages and insights. I always find them helpful and good information with keys to the puzzle.
Comments and Questions on Depression: It takes Two to
I just want to ask you this: will one be punished if they take their own life, I mean if one wants to get off this planet whilst we are still
reasonably stable, then will we be sent straight back or go into some sort of suspension. I hear so many ideas/reasons to remain and I totally
relate to some of the "feelings" you feel (or felt). Everyone tries to tell you how wonderful this life is and we should be so damn grateful we are
alive, and how there are thousands of souls just lining up to be born blah, blah - I mean do you believe that bullshit? You know and I know that
this human experience is like that of a lab rat and that is all we are lab rats - I would rather kill myself than be mucked around with anymore
Came close to it on New Years Eve but backed off because of my mum - by the way I am not a kid - I am nearly 45 years old - never had kids
(never felt maternal). Anyhow I am not writing to bore you with who I am, that is not important. But what is the point is I read all the web
sights on the shift from 3D to 4D - how the ET's are coming, etc. Basically they are all promises, promises -- nothing. Some of my family
and friends think I probably need to go to counseling or a mental hospital. I have never felt happy on this planet.
I don't think I am a starseed - but have always felt someone made a big mistake. But here I am still alive and feeling bloody miserable, hanging on
in the hope the ET's will come and take me away (had this wish since I was a child!). Even if they want to cut me up for their experiments as
long as I don't have to come back to this place.
Be honest, human beings are a bunch of greedy, selfish, egotistical shit heads even the so called spiritual groups -- money and ego. Nobody has
a pure heart on this planet and most people just don't care. Why the heck do the ET's want to save this lot? After all we were an experiment
and it’s just gone wrong. They should wipe out this race and hopefully get it right the next time around as this lot are beyond repair with all our weaknesses and hostility.
Yeah I am pissed off today. So much overload on this bloody internet - who to believe - what to believe - everyone raving on about love, love -
white light, angels, how wonderful life is, pulling each other apart in the chat groups but signing off with lots of love and light and crap like that.
I mean really! Everyone is trying so hard to be so spiritual and meaningful. It come across to me that we are all trapped in this huge
illusion and someone up there is pulling the strings and laughing their heads off at just how stupid we are - puppets on a string!
I guess I must be depressed Ha! Don't worry my friend, you don't have to answer. I mean you are so much more advanced than me, I guess I
am still stuck like the rest of the idiots in the 3D yucky, heavy, energy and it’s killing me!!!
Captain Kangaroo from the Planet Platapus
Sorry it's taken so long to reply because I really was quite touched by your email. Believe me, I know these feelings & thought processes well, so it does resonate with me.
First, in the case of suicide, I don't think there is anyone to do the punishing, meaning that I really do not believe that anyone is here on this
planet except by their own choice.....and when we made that choice we had a purpose in what we wanted to accomplish on this planet. My fear
in suiciding out in the past(because this ceased to be a thought form for me several years ago) was that I'd no sooner be out of my body and this
pain and BAM! Then I'd remember what it was that I was trying to get done on earth and now I wouldn't have the body(lifetime in the Matrix) to
do it!! THAT'S what scared me & prevented me from getting out...I hate to fail, & who knows who we'd have to explain it to back home! What an embarrassment!
Seriously, once one "gets it" that we are each here to affect the final outcome, then the process is to each day, sometimes hour by hour or
even minute by minute, look for the value in what's going on in our individual life (because there IS always something that I've usually
started taking for granted) knowing at the same time that we're here doing important work. Much of the time what we do in some seemingly
unimportant little drama in our lives that nobody would notice contributes to a new template that others.....even entire races...can use.
Now that's worth doing, wouldn't you say? And to set a pure template one cannot have all the whys & wherefores or no template can be set.
One must FEEL his/her way through it & keep talking & expressing as one goes through it as well.
That is why ....to me...it would not make sense for anyone, ET or otherwise, to come & rescue you or me from what we came to do. This
is "Green Beret" type of work, & only a very hardy, determined, mature soul would have taken on such a task as you have, because the work is
done in the unconscious. This is much harder than seeing the enemy clearly in 3D. This is like overcoming madness while one remembers at
some level that he/she is NOT mad!! So what do you think?
Depression It Takes Three To Tango was and is very similar to my situation. I just wanted to say thanks and it helps alot eveytime i read it. Have a good day.
I read your article on depression. Having had the serious swings for 25 years I know what you're talking about. I too am a spiritual seeker and
serious about my meditational practice and living in the world in a loving and authentic way. But when the depression episodes hit I am gripped
with such dread and sadness that it takes every ounce of me to just go on moment by moment. Which I do even though I think that I can't do this much longer.
I've had a few good days now and each time this happens I think maybe it's finally over and I'll be OK. I breathe a great cosmic sigh of relief and
actually begin to make plans that involve emotional constancy. Then a couple of days later. Boom! The depression visits again. I love the new
age cosmic transformation stuff that describes my pain as a glorious unfolding, a transformation of my DNA. But, when the dread hits I have a
hard time not seeing it as my body is really fucked up and I haven't been able to find a cure.
Can you identify with this ambivalence? Can I ever get to accept the depression and enter fully into my life including the swings?
Peace brother, Ken S.
Yes, I can identify with your statements and your ambivalence. My question is: can you ever accept the depression and enter fully into your
life including the mood and temperament swings? I throw your own question back at you only to emphasize that your answer is, in fact, your own question.
The most pain that I have experienced with these mood swings is the idea that it should be different. Notice how easily we accept a time of
joy or of well being. I do not stop to analyze times like those, do you? I do not ponder over the “why” of my joy or well being; I notice that I just
flow with it and notice my attitude and how great the world and being alive actually is.
My tendency in down times, however, has been to immediately move into judgment and analysis. Why do I feel this way? What did I do? I’ve
learned now to flow with these dark feelings and notice what I am feeling, and know that these feelings are part of me; part of who I am.
Most importantly, I look for the value of these feelings at that time. I am talking about a state of mind, a state of being. So I can be deeply
depressed and having feelings of great hopelessness. I can then give up, totally. After all, it really doesn’t matter, does it? Within this mentality I
can still be willing to find value at some point from having this experience. I remain open (See the 4th Key of Compassion ) and willing.
I take the time to check in with my Ego (inner child) and see how he is doing and listen to what he has to say. I ask my Soul for guidance (see 3rd Key of Compassion ). This is where choice and self-empowernent are
a reality and came to be a concept in this state of being. It is also where you make a real difference in your own life and the consciousness
grid of the planet. It is also how you ascend a body of your type and coding. And it is where you begin and lay the foundation to do what you came to this planet to do!
By integrating you mean like a mulching. an acceptance of the depression, the fear?
By integrating I mean using the Formula of Compassion & the Keys to move to a level of total acceptance..... where you don't much care
whether you are joyful or depressed because you know in your heart that either has great value, & you now automatically look for value while
experiencing either one, not just when experiencing joy. Get it?
Best Regards, Jonathan Starr
Question on Mind Control:
What does the NC say in regards to the numerous people (good portion of them since birth) that are being "mind controlled" through trauma
based mind control (to create programmable Multiple Personalities), implants, etc... by not just the "government" but by "followers of the
dark side/reptiles"? Is it your belief that those individuals chose this path before coming here as so many groups believe? My reading has lead me
to believe that a VERY LARGE portion of the people are being TOTALLY controlled through these means... Does the NC have an authority that they suggest people follow? -Kristie
Thank you for your very intelligent question. First please know that the earth is surrounded/enveloped with a series of energetic matrices (grids)
from which certain fear based systems have manifested, namely, religious, government, secret societies, education systems, medical systems, etc.
All of us on this planet have been “minded controlled” into believing that our power was outside ourselves, that we need a savior (Jesus,
spacecraft lift offs, etc.) to make it, that pain is to be avoided instead of appreciated (Excedrin headache #81; “Feel pain? Take a pill mentalities),
and that we are somehow victims- victims of our childhood, “The Dark Forces,” our parents, the government, the “Devil”, our whatever.
The Formula of Compassion and the Keys of Compassion are the tools that we can all use to take responsibility for creating our way out of
these systems, and thus ascend.
While all souls have, in fact, chosen to be born into this life that they live, and play the roles they play in the Polarity Integration Game, there
must be a way out for all of them. Those involved in perpetrating the mind control are actually trauma-based taking the above mentioned
systems and “turning up the volume” so to speak, by creating more “better” trauma, and consciously planing how to use the naturally
occurring (from the induced trauma) splitting that the ego does because it cannot, at the time, integrate the fear and pain. It is the same
splitting that many of us have experienced from the traumas inflicted upon us unconciously by our parents.
My point is that the out of balance, polarized to the dark individuals to whom you refer are “caught up” in the very systems that they inflict on
others. Otherwise, why would Baron Rothschild, on his deathbed, gather his sons around him and make them swear an oath to continue to protect
the Rothschild legacy by committing incest with their offspring, as had been done to them?
As more and more of the population integrate their fears and take back their power, the opportunity will be there for the “victims” of trauma
-based mind control to utilize the above mentioned tools, and choose to find their way out of their roles!
It will be and is now imperative that they (and we) look for the value in all of this, instead of looking for the fault (blame). That is the secret to
getting free. And the only authority to follow is your own higher self/soul.
My physical vehicle has genetic links to their bloodline and it has been my purpose here to create templates that these individuals can access to
find their way out. I will also be available to personally assist those individuals desiring one-on-one help as they request it.
I hope this adequately answers your inquiry. If not please feel free to write again.