Comments on Handling Anger the Multidimensional Way, Part 1,2, 3
I am new to this website. A friend told me about it just yesterday. I read all the comments that people had on one of your articles. Yet I decided
to explore some of your other articles. The one on non-personal anger was very enlightening. The next one that I read was the one on being
overweight. This article then lead me to the article on making the inner child your partner.
I'm at a point in my life where I desire to feel as I did as a child. So reading this article was right on time. I daydream alot, and I remember as
a child dreaming about a young girl who was full of light. Light was actually glowing from her being, yet she was in the hospital. I've looked
back at this vision recently trying to make sense of it. Why would a being filled with so much energy be in a hospital? Couldn't she heal herself?
It wasn't until just now, upon completing your article, that the tears of understanding began to roll down my cheek. At the time that I had that
vision, I had begun to cut myself off from my inner child. That little girl was me. I knew that I was meant for great things, yet I cannot achieve
without my inner child working with me. I've been so terrible to the child within. I don't even trust myself to do what I say I'm gonna do. And I
don't wanna see the same cycle beginning in my daughter who is five. I will however, begin to talk more with my inner child. I really want the
light being inside of me to come out of the hospital. She's been there for a good twenty years now. I want to feel her energy within me. I want to become her and she become me.
You wrote an excellent article and provided stellar insights into dealing with the fiery monster.
I look forward to your next article on handling anger when it's directed at your partner. I have a very difficult time with that. My anger can be
hotter than fire. It bursts but doesn't last. Unfortunately, I'm the one who gets angry at my partner, vents big time, then feels released from it, and just fine and honky-dorey once again.
She, on the otherhand, slumps into seclusion after I've vented, and is left doing some kind of emotional mop up for a period of time.
I feel really bad about it, and could really use some insight as to how to express it and handle things differently. So, I await your next article with anticipation.
Nice articles you wrote. Feels like it came from the source to me:) It speaks to me, so I shall take more notice as per your comments in the
articles, to my venting as I do a lot of it with regard to certain subject matter. Thanks for the reminder.
This is my first time writing to you. I want to thank you and the others that make the website possible. I find the information extremely valuable.
It also rings true to me since I have to trust my intuition about what I read on the Internet.
My comments are about handling anger. I have been very fatigued for some time. Just recently, after reading your articles about anger I
started having dreams about my childhood. My inner child has been trying to communicate with me about her feelings. She had wanted a doll house
but no one had listened to her or understood her. My mother was very selfish and competed for attention. I have been steaming mad all day
today. I talked to her on the phone but I find it useless to communicate my feelings to her. Jelaila, how do we express anger toward someone
who we cannot do face to face in a fruitful way for the greatest good of all?
This is where agreements come in. Getting in touch with the stuffed anger is good but going and venting it to your mother, without an
agreement in place to do so is usually a recipe for disaster...as you have just experienced. That's why I wrote the first two articles that talk about
creating an agreement for expressing anger. Create an agreement with your mother first. One that will allow her to express anger as well as you.
.and to be safe doing so. What I mean is that when one of you expresses anger, the other agrees to listen and not invalidate the anger, make the
other wrong, try to fix it or shut down the person venting.
Thank you for all the great work you do. I've read the keys and feel they concord pretty much with my truth. About the way you handle your
anger however, I think a bit differently. In my view it is not "the other" that needs to validate your feelings, it is you. Your feelings are of value
to you as they are your inner mirror of what you think.
I used to think that as we ascended further, we would not feel anger anymore. Just recently I have started to doubt that. As we learn to
watch our thoughts continually, I expect our feelings of anger will not rise much above the level of irritation. But they may still be a valid feed
back for us to check our thinking. I think we will just need to learn how to vent our anger in a safe way (whatever that may be) and how to let it go by as someone else vents it in our vicinity.
Much love and gratitude,
Validate one's own feelings is important but this article is not about that. It is about relationships and how we can restore love and harmony
through the use of appropriate apologies.
I so appreciate your articles on anger. They are very helpful to me - especially now that I'm doing the liver cleanse. I do have a comment on one of your perspectives:
"Multidimensional Apology from Jonathan: “Jelaila, I am so sorry for getting angry about the receipt and causing you to feel that all your hard
work at the conference didn’t mean anything. I’m sorry if I made you feel unappreciated.”
Several times in the article you speak about inflicting pain on someone. It is my belief that we are not responsible for anyone but ourselves and
that includes the emotions that come up for them during interaction with us. I cannot cause someone else to feel something. They have to allow
themselves to feel that emotion. I am the trigger, but I do not cause the feeling.
On another note, I absolutely love the work you are doing and I honor you for being on the planet at this auspicious time! Thank you for all that you are.
Thanks for bringing up the subject of someone causing us to feel something or making us feeling something. Yes this is true with one exception...when we give our power away to someone. They can then
use that power to harm us. This is the context in which the article was written. If you give your power away to someone, they can use it to hurt
you..and let's face it, we are in a world that teaches us to give our power away..to a church, to a guru, to a president, to a savior....ad
nauseum. When we do that they can hurt us and this is what we are seeing.
It is my premise that we choose this as part of spiritual growth. After many incarnations as creator gods/goddesses, creating our realities and
then getting lost in them, we give our power away. It is my belief that we are here to regain our lost power. We do this by having what we call
mirrors. People with whom we have entered into a soul contracts to reflect back to us where we have given away our power. They do this by
taking the power we give them...that we have programmed ourselves to give away through the incarnations. And they don't give it back until we
stand up and reclaim it. Not in anger but in appreciation and love for that person who played the role of the one who hurt us.
Still, even though there was a contract to inflict pain using the power that we have them, they can still accept responsibility for playing out
the role. Why? Because they wanted the lesson too for some reason. And as a way to compensate for the growth they would gain by playing
the role, they help us to release our pain by validating the pain so that we can find it and release it. In this way, both sides evolve.
Was very impressed with the anger article just the way it was and would like to print it in my hard copy and on-line copy of The Messenger.
Excited that you plan on doing a series of Anger articles...very timely for all this transmuting that is trying to go on.
Thanks for some great writing.
Your revision of the article about handling anger adequately to release it from the body was much clearer. I can see how much that will be helpful in personal relationships.
It only addressed handling impersonal anger not directed at you (your inner child) personally. Another question arises, what about situations
where you are the butt of someone's anger who happens to be a stranger? It happens all the time, especially these days: in restaurants,
over the phone, in stores, on the highways. Perhaps that will be another article.
For example, I had a bill collector humiliate me over the phone. (I know. I let it in. Or my inner child took it personally.) The dispute is over late
fees charged when I have already returned the merchandise and paid the balance of the original invoice. My inner child was disappointed that I
didn't stick up for it and I have been depressed ever since.
Thank you so much for your multidimensional articles, ideas and suggestions. They are immensely helpful.
What a great article about handling anger constructively and deepening the bonds of our relationships at the same time. When I finished reading
it, I pondered a moment, and had an interesting (at least to me) thought about how you kept using the word “stuff” to describe what we do with
our anger in a less positive way. Stuff. Stuff. Stuff. Hmmm – wondering how much of my stuffed anger has resulted in a huge body weight issue
that has been an “unsolvable” problem for almost all of my adult life. Being stuffed. Feeling stuffed. Appearing stuffed. Body so stuffed it can
barely function normally. Stuffing anger. Hmm… anger at a father who “abandoned” me at age 6 due to divorce. Dealing with him
again at age 40 – broken promises resulting again in disappointment, abandonment, pain. I immediately gained 50 pounds without dietary changes.
More recently when my husband literally died (it took 7 times with the paddles to bring him back), and he was hospitalized for 2 weeks with
what turned out to be a fairly rare condition involving the adrenal glands, I gained 25 pounds in 3 weeks. It was not due to food, since I was not
eating much due to the stresses of having to go to work every day and we had no medical insurance. Again an abandonment issue and anger toward our financial circumstances. Hmmm.
And there are more anger issues with other relatives. Interesting how we contract with them for the experiences we need for our advancement.
Thank you for giving me food for thought to chew on (puns intended LOL).
Say “hi” and thanks to Jonathan for me, since he triggered this whole thing.
Thank-you for your article on handling anger. After 33 years of "feeling" my husband's anger, I finally made a realization. I knew he was mirroring
me but I could never see how. I couldn't muster up the fire behind the words like he could, when he was frustrated at something. I never
seemed to "get angry". Instead, I would just go around "complaining" very sweetly about everything. Now I realize that "complaining", for me
apparently, is just a subtle way of showing my frustration and "anger". I used to wish my husband would apologize for sending such anger vibes
my way. I even felt resentful. But when I read your words - to have him say "Thanks for listening to me," my inner child took note. That's
what she wanted all along. So, I explained this to my husband and I thanked him for listening to my complaints and to not take them
personally [like he very often did, making him express more anger]. Then he thanked me for being a sounding board for his frustrations and anger.
We both feel much better and so now I'm thanking you.
An amazing thing has happened to my body since my releasing so much anger with my husband yesterday. My abdomen, which has been so
large since 1997 that it was bigger than it ever was in either of my pregnancies, has disappeared. I now have an almost flat stomach. It is
like it was inflated with all of the anger I have stuffed, and now it has been released and gone.
I might add that this area of my body is where I stuck the knife when I tried to kill myself in 1996 because of all of the feelings I had in this area
at that time. Anger, Rage, Fury, Frustration. I was not able to put any names on it at that time, I was just 'In It' all. And had no way of
releasing it that I knew of. Hence the knife.
Thank You Jelaila. Once again the words are inadequate for the gratitude I feel to you and Devin for all the work you have done on Anger
in recent months. My Homoeopathic self is wondering if anger on our planet is the single cause of all of our human dis-ease states.
I feel so much gratitude to my husband too for allowing me to vent with him yesterday. It was not about Blame. It was a real leaning experience
for both of us. I am filled with energy and vitality for life today too.
Thank You. And thanks to Jonathan too.
Much Love and Blessings and Joy,