Facing the Fear of Being Real
by Jelaila Starr
January 4, 2000
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For those on the spiritual path who have made the decision to ascend along with Mother Earth to the 5th dimension, they at some point come to understand what ascension
entails. They realize that it means clearing their emotional blocks and taking the denser energies contained in each and transmuting those energies into compassion. Compassion, as science
has recently discovered, is the one thing that changes our DNA. In essence, it recodes the DNA
To clear our emotional blocks we must integrate the fears that create them. In this article I explain how I used the tools (The Multidimensional Keys of
Compassion) given to me by my guides in the Nibiruan Council to begin clearing the many layers of my emotional block around being real or authentic, so that I could open my heart and be
vulnerable, showing my Dark side as well as my Light side to others. I hope it helps you to do the same...Jelaila
How many times have we heard someone say, "I wish you would just be real with me”! Why is being real so frightening and how can we integrate the fear?
Well, the best way I know to explain how to face the fear of being real and to integrate that fear, is to share one of my own somewhat embarrassing experiences.
Over the last few years I have heard the above request made to me numerous times. And each time I would hear it, I would think to myself, "What are they talking about? I am being
real! This is the real me!” And again I was surprised to see the pain on their faces and feel their anger when they expressed their feelings to me. “Why”, I wondered,
“were they so upset? Why were they so angry with me?” For the last few years this has become a vicious cycle. It wasn't until several months ago at a particular event that
I came to understand why.
The opportunity to learn about what it means to be real came about during a weekly group meeting for a big event that would be held here in Los Angeles. I had found out about this group through
a series of synchronistic events and felt that I should support it.
On the evening in question, I had come to the regular Tuesday night planning meeting with the idea that I would dedicate myself and become a regular participant. I was surprised when just after
the meeting got under way, the two founders of the group passed me a note asking me to speak. They were aware of my work and felt that what I had to share would be of benefit to the group since
so many resonated with the galactic information. I agreed but told them that I would need to leave right after the presentation in order to get to my next engagement.
When the time came for my presentation, I went into "Galactic Messenger Mode" as I have come to call it. I sprinkled the waters of my great wisdom over the crowd. I shared with
them the value of the Dark. I opened their eyes to higher dimensional understandings, blah, blah, blah! I gave ‘em a real show! When it was over they were thrusting business
cards at me and grabbing catalogs out of my hands as fast as I could get them out of my bag. I thought, as I walked out the door to leave, "Wow, I really made an impact in there!
They really liked me!" The truth was yet to come.
A few days later I received a call from the group founders asking me to attend the next meeting. Boy, was I in for a surprise. When I got there and they had called the meeting to order,
one by one the members shared their feelings regarding my presentation the previous week. This took about 30 minutes, and I felt my heart being stabbed as each one took their turn giving me the
verbal lashing that I deserved. But I listened to them, and as I did I began to understand what they were saying and feeling. They were hurt. They had come to the previous meeting anxious
to connect with someone they had been told could help them, someone who had many higher dimensional understandings, someone who could be a guide to them, but more importantly, could be a friend and
an equal. What they got was, indeed, someone with great understanding, but also someone who was so afraid of being real that she pushed them away with her mask. She hid behind her
knowledge and the power it gave her. As a result, many of the members felt that I was better than they were, and that I held myself separate from them and so they felt rejected. I was shocked
Then it was my turn to speak. I acknowledged and validated their feelings because I knew that I had hurt them and let them down. Then I did what I never thought I would do. I shared
with them my own fears of failure, of not being able to fulfill their needs as a Galactic Messenger. I owned up to the fact that I hid behind that title. I said, “I hid because I felt
that you wouldn’t like the real me with all my flaws and imperfections.” I told them how I believed that if I did a perfect job, then I could not help but be accepted and now I
understood the flaw in my thinking. I apologized for not giving them the chance to see the real me and for not giving them the chance to accept or reject me on those terms. And I
apologized for not giving them the benefit of the doubt that they would accept me.
As I continued to share my deepest fears of inadequacy something magical began to happen. Some of the group members began to cry. As I looked around the room and saw the tears it occurred
to me that a healing was taking place.
Then the members, some of whom had been silent witnesses until now, began to express their own fears of being real. They talked about past experiences when they felt the pain of rejection and
the confusion of not understanding why. They talked of their hurt and embarrassment as those they loved lashed out at them in anger accusing them of acting superior, accusations that they could
only react to with shock and amazement. Now the shoe was on the other foot and each of us finally understood. The gulf between us that had been so great was bridged with acceptance and
compassion. I thanked them for the lesson and they in turn released me from blame. Then the greatest thing happened. They asked me to stand in the middle of the circle so that they could send
As I stood there, I felt the love coming towards me from the hearts and outstretched hands of every person in the group. At first it made me uncomfortable and a little self-conscious, so I retreated
back behind my mask. Within seconds I realized what I had done, so I consciously made the choice to take the mask off again and that's when the greatest thing happened. I began to cry
and I truly felt my vulnerability in every part of my being, but then I noticed that I could feel the warmth of their love and acceptance. Then I felt myself opening to absorb their love into my
being. I had experienced the magic of being loved and accepted. It was a profound and humbling experience.
I learned a lot that evening. It was tough and it hurt, but I am forever grateful to the souls in that room who cared enough to help a fledgling walk-in to be real. With their help I
learned that to integrate the fear of being real, all I have to do is share that fear with others. I learned at a new level, that to express that fear not only dissolves its power over me, it
brings me closer to others, gives me the acceptance and love that I want so much, and most of all, it makes me human. I learned that the more I try to be perfect in my role as Galactic Messenger in
order to gain peoples' acceptance and approval, the more they will feel disconnected, unaccepted and angry.
I had believed that if I was perfect they would love me. After all, this is what I had been taught as a child. Perfection was next to godliness, and therefore, the way to love and
acceptance. Once again I came to see how I had bought into a belief of the earth systems and had suffered the consequences.
Steps to Integrating the Fear of Being Real:
1. Determine where your fears of be real lie. They lie at the heart of any belief where you feel you must be perfect in order to be accepted. These fears are the kind that causes you
to feel the need to hide behind a mask. They make you feel inadequate, not good enough and “less than.” Ask your Soul and he/she will give you the information. Ask for it
to be given in 24 hours or less and in a way that you can’t possibly misinterpret. Add to this request an addendum that states that if you don’t “get it” within the
24 hours, your Soul will continue to give you the answer until you get it or no longer wish to know.
2. Once you understand what these fears are, express them verbally. Doing so is the first step to dissolving their power over you because now they are no longer
3. Once you verbalize one of these fears, ask your inner child (Ego) these questions.
Each of these questions is designed to help your inner child see that being real by expressing its fears will not cause it to be rejected and die. The inner child
believes that rejection is synonymous with death and therefore, will create a false image or mask to hide any parts of you that it feels will not be accepted.
As the inner child answers each of the above questions, you will notice a sense of relief and calm come over you. These feelings are confirmation that your inner child believes that it is now
safe and as a result has been able to establish a new sense of trust and peace.
Being real is not something that happens all at once, instead it is a process of discovering each fear and assisting the inner child to integrate that fear by expressing it verbally. And once
expressed, taking it through the steps that enable it to see that it is still safe and in fact, safer that before.
I have been on this journey for some time now and my Soul and guides have left no stone unturned in their efforts to show me where I still fear being real. Your guides will do the same for you
if you ask them to do so. They want you to grow and experience the heart-opening joy of real friendship, trust and acceptance. After all, isn’t that one of the reasons you are here?
Blessings to you and yours,
The Nibiruan Council
Jelaila Starr, author of We are the Nibiruans is an internationally known channel, teacher, and counselor. Through her lectures, workshops, and articles, Jelaila's message of compassion has touched the hearts of people around the world inspiring hope and understanding while providing solutions to some of today’s most pressing challenges.
As a psychic/intuitive counselor, Jelaila works with individuals to assist them with emotional clearing, healing relationships, and DNA Recoding. Jelaila's unique
approach enables her clients to clearly discover who they are, what they came to do, and how to achieve it.