Comparing Only Leads to Pain
By Jonathan (Jehowah) Starr
Written July 1999
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As we continue to experience the intensity of integration…and to judge and compare those experiences, a word of caution for those with codings from the dark side…
Through the endeavors of the 9D Nibiruan Council, the people of Earth have been given the nine steps of the Compassion Formula, the nine levels of DNA Recoding, Reconnection and Activation, and the
Compassion Keys. All are higher dimensional information converted into 3D language that we can understand from our perspective in this 3D planetary school.
They were meant to be accessed and used first by Walk-ins, Starseeds and anyone else who came to assist mankind of earth, to enable them to
create templates that mankind could use to attain the consciousness of ascension, and the shift of themselves and their planet to the 5th dimension.
This was necessary because the systems on this planet being fear-based, and combined with the denseness of the planet, make it next to
impossible to ascend without those higher dimensional templates. There is no way out without a templates and processes to use.
Each individual who accesses these templates (the DNA RRA Process and the Compassion Keys) in the consciousness grid of earth to integrate the
light and dark will find their experiences are often different than those of their neighbor. What I want to share with you is a story of the futility of
comparing one's experiences to another in this process because it can only lead to unnecessary pain and suffering.
Each person's experience of working these steps and ascending these levels is an experience unique to that person. It all depends upon one's
orientation, lessons to learn, past life experiences to be integrated and, most importantly, one's coding.
One of the most difficult problems that I had in 1998 after I walked in, was constantly comparing my experience to Jelaila's description of her
experiences. For as I found out slowly but surely, the greatest pain was not in the experience itself (no matter how difficult), but in my judgement
of myself in how I was transgressing the experience, how quickly I was moving through my next step, and the conclusion of perceived self worth based upon those two judgements.
In earth's system the ego/child part of us has been rigorously trained to base self worth on what one does, who one is to another (and how they
are valued and treated by that other), what one has (possessions), and what one has accomplished. I share the following experience as a painful example of this patterning.
In 1998, shortly after my marriage to Jelaila, I lost my business of 12 years (remember that a walk-in assumes the memories, experiences and
obligations of the original soul). The one friend/employee that I trusted to purchase my company betrayed that trust. He played a very dark role for me and became my nemesis.
Due to choices he made, (one was to fire a salesman who just closed an 800,000 deal that we lost due to the termination of the salesman) my
company collapsed, my bank accounts were seized, myself left unpaid, and all those who were in my company (which were like my family) were
betrayed and left jobless, with paychecks that bounced. These were just a few of the life dramas that presented themselves as a context for soul growth and RRA during the demise of my business.
During this time I found it extremely difficult, and at times, impossible not to judge myself and have negative feelings about who I was, and how
well I was working the nine steps and recoding. With my identity gone, and my livelihood destroyed at the hands of another (my feelings at the
time), I felt helpless with rage, and near hatred consumed me no matter how many times I used the Formula. And all the while I kept asking
myself, "How could I be the one selected for this role of representing the Dark with such rage and helplessness engulfing me? Perhaps because of
my coding (reptilian) I am incapable of transmuting and achieving compassion. Someone obviously has made a big mistake! How can I have
such judgements when I know that compassion is experienced only when all judgements have been released? How can I possibly be making
templates for other reptilian coded people to use if I cannot do it myself?"
All my feelings of inadequacy were made worse by listening to Jelaila's experiences because I thought that mine were supposed to be like hers.
And this too added fuel to the fire as I struggled to deal with my feelings of jealousy and anger towards her for being able to do it so easily, or so I
believed. There were many times that I wanted to tell her to shut up when she would be telling me how she just "got" this lesson or that
lesson. It seemed so easy for her. It didn't seem fair.
It was not until my father, Cobazar, spoke to me from the other realm that I began to release the idea that I should be able to move through
this experience like she did. He said to me in his deep, voice, " My son, the way a dinosaur walks across the land is quite different from how a
lioness would do it. A dinosaur's steps are slow, sure and steady; a lioness scampers, its feet barely touching the ground. As for how they
experience integration, it is similar to the way they experience a pool of water. Cats will dip their toes in and quickly withdraw. Reptiles, on the
other hand, will immerse themselves completely in the water, taking their time."
With my father's help, I began to see that comparing my experiences to Jelaila's was only creating more pain for me, heightening my feelings of worthlessness.
So, if you are anything like me you will spend more time in your immersion into darkness, be it depression, anger, a dark mood or whatever. The
cats don't do it that way. They dip their toes in, get a feel and scamper off. That is their experience, not ours. As I began to embrace my own
experience, I began to appreciate the experience. I began to know that this is what I came to experience. This is what I came to do. It was not
all the things that my ego was convinced that I should be doing, thinking or feeling. (See Jelaila's booklet The Soul/Ego/Self Partnership) The true
value was in my present, my now. It was in my experience.
By learning to flow with the experience I was able to bring the rage and disappointment I felt into compassion by seeing the lesson, the contract,
the role and reflection, the aspect of myself, and the inevitable gift. Only then was I able to move into acceptance, allow myself to let go of
the negative feelings and release my former business partner from blame.
So, in listening to others' experiences of working these steps remember, if you want to know how it's supposed to be then look at what you are
experiencing and embrace it. Don't compare! The way you are experiencing it is exactly how it's supposed to be.
Jonathan (Jehowah) Starr
About the author:
Jonathan is a former business owner who attained his freedom from alcohol and cocaine addiction in 1979 by using the 12 Steps of Alcoholics
Anonymous. He was a chemical dependency and family counselor for over 12 years.
Jonathan sold his former business interests and purchased the original Nibiruan Council in 1997, marrying Jelaila in 1998. His connection to
Jelaila's work was that he had always felt there was a piece missing in the 12 Step programs which he found in the Compassion Key. He co
-authored with Jelaila two of the Keys of Compassion and was proofreader and collaborator on most of Jelaila's articles and books as
well as functioning as general manager of the Nibiruan Council business for 10 years.
Jonathan has helped countless individuals to apply the 12 Steps, use Agreements and embrace their Dark Side to improve the quality of their
sobriety, and apply the higher principles, the Keys of Compassion, to their relationships such as marriages, parent-child and child-parent. He also
specializes in assisting those who struggle with depression, shame and guilt to create a way out of the emotional pain and attain peace.