Chapter Two
Spiritual Wake–Up Call
At the end of June something happened that changed my life. On the 23rd I had an
intense and profound personal experience. Some would call it a spiritual awakening, others a rebirth. I felt as though a higher part of myself had suddenly come to walk my
life path with me. Whatever it was it changed my life and the way I looked at the world and my fellow man. It would be three
and a half years before I would realize that what I experienced was actually an awakening. At the time it just felt like a sudden passion to
race forward on my spiritual path. My awakening couldn’t have been timelier. I was struggling with making a difficult personal choice in my
life and I knew this choice would affect me for years to come.
In the days leading up to my awakening, I had walked around going over every possible option, in my head, again and again. It seemed no
matter which one I chose, I would lose. My anger, guilt and shame enveloped me like a dark cloud. I was drowning in the dark waters of
depression. It was then that a new friend appeared. But this friend wasn’t made of flesh and bone. No, this friend was invisible to the
naked eye but could easily be seen when I closed my eyes. This friend was my higher self. I call her Jelaila.
Jelaila, my higher self, became the guiding light in my life and the changes she brought about in me were for the better. I became more
positive and self assured; though I believe some of that came from the things Chris was teaching me. Looking back I find it interesting that
Chris and this higher aspect of myself would come into my life within six months of each other. It seemed as though God had decided to step up
the pace of my soul’s evolution and, therefore, sent two new friends, Chris and Jelaila, to show me the way.
My spiritual studies took on a new fervor after my awakening. I began to frequent the local bookstores in search of greater knowledge. It
wasn’t long before I was on a first name basis with the owners. They would see me come in about every two weeks. It began to be a joke
between us. I would walk in and say “Dan, (if it was his store), I don’t know what I’m here for but I’m sure I’ll find out before I leave.” Dan
would smile, in his quiet way, knowing I would soon find my way to the counter with an assortment of books, candles, crystals and anything
else I was led to study at the time. I explored many areas, learning just enough about each one to be dangerous, as they say.
By the time the Christmas bells were jingling in the winter of `92, I had covered a multitude of different topics ranging from angels and nature
spirits to reincarnation and near death experiences (NDEs). I read books by people who received their information from angels and other
beings beyond this dimension, as well as noted doctors and PhDs. I was expanding my horizons and my consciousness.
There was only one problem, Chris was beginning to get concerned. He didn’t understand what had come over me and I believe he felt that in
some way he was losing me, but to what? I didn’t understand much more than he. All I knew was that something in me was changing and
the change felt right and good. Look at what I had accomplished with my daughter? Where did the idea of the five minutes each morning
come from? The results were undeniable and it didn’t take a therapist to bring them about.
I began meeting people who shared the same interests as myself. They, more and more, became my circle of friends and those who didn’t
share the same interests dropped further and further into the background. One of those new people was my future business partner,
Marla Westrup. Marla was a tall red head with a bubbly, outgoing personality and an easy laugh. Chris referred me to Marla. She worked
for a heating and cooling company that was one of Chris’s fleet accounts. Marla and I became friends upon our first meeting and over
the next year we stayed in touch, having lunch about once a month to catch up on the happenings in each other’s life.
The majority of these new friends were business owners and, therefore, became members of one of my seven business networks. As a result
the networks were taking on a different look and feel. The air of formality began being replaced with an air of relaxed friendliness.
Everyone seemed to like the change. This change reflected the change in me. I was very formal and businesslike before my spiritual awakening.
Afterwards, I softened and lightened up quite a bit.
Yet something was happening, something had changed. I started to notice that the people I once felt so close to began to feel like
strangers to me. “How could this be?” I wondered. I didn’t like this change. I loved these people! Looking back I realized that my interests
had changed but theirs hadn’t. I tried for a while to bridge the ever widening gap between us by sharing my new understandings with them.
I thought maybe something in the information I shared would spark their interest and provide a way to maintain our relationship. This never occurred.
Then I noticed I began to feel sorry for them because I perceived their world as one of hopeless ignorance. It pained me to see them chose a
life in which real happiness was only a dream. Many of my friends couldn’t even tell me what happiness was. They had resigned
themselves to a life that would never meet their emotional or physical expectations. How my heart grieved for their loss of the joy of life.
How my soul longed to free them. I wanted for them what I had begun to gain for myself but, more importantly, I didn’t want to lose their
acceptance and friendship. Yet, my words and actions were driving a wedge of anger between us. I couldn’t understand why they weren’t
excited to know about things that could change their lives for the better.
What I failed to understand and accept was that my path was right for me and their path was right for them. Had I understood, I could have
spared a lot of hurt feelings. I should have stopped trying to enlighten them and accept that we just weren’t in the same space anymore. The
more I pushed to free them the tighter they closed the door on our friendship. Many tears were shed on both sides.
I didn’t see that I was beginning to isolate myself from everyday people.
I was shutting myself off from love and friendship. I was beginning to leave behind the people who had called me friend. I picked up my books, and with tears in my eyes, walked on.
When this began to happen, I didn’t realize the impact it would have on my life in years to come. I was too caught up in my anger over their
rejection of my new understandings and me. I couldn’t understand why they “couldn’t get with it”. Why, I asked myself, would anyone choose
to remain stuck in a reality that didn’t make them happy when the information was available at their fingertips to create a joyous change?
Years later, when the anger and pain of rejection had turned to compassion, I understood that impact. I had walked a spiritual path
that became littered with the remains of broken relationships. I had a lot of cleaning up to do and, thankfully, I now have the wisdom and tools to do it.
The Mission
By the time September rolled around (I’m backing up here a bit), I began
to realize that I had some mission to accomplish here on Earth. I even went so far as to write a contract with God to complete this mysterious
mission in my journal. My heart told me that I had a purpose beyond adding to the national deficit and paying taxes to Uncle Sam. I thought
maybe it had to do with my business but somehow I knew it would go far beyond my current work of teaching business people how to network.
Much to my dismay, I found I was beginning to lose interest in my company. This was a first! I thought “Oh my God, what am I going to
do now? Why is this happening to me? I’ve got a kid to raise!” I began to feel the fear and desperation creeping over me. I can’t let all these
people down! What will I do to earn a living if I let this company go? The joy of helping small business owners get their companies financially
solvent didn’t seem to be enough to fulfill me any longer. I needed something more.
I began spending more time out of the office than in it, searching for that something that would bring back the fire of enthusiasm to my life.
Many a night I pondered my dilemma. My lack of interest was beginning to show more and more. I was late to meetings and Marla, who had
come to work for me the previous April, was becoming irritated with my afternoon disappearing acts. I tried and tried to think of some way to
turn my heart around but it was insistent on going its own way.
Winter came and went and the daffodils began to bloom in the spring of ’93. The feeling of urgency to find my mission continued without respite
. Try as I might, I couldn’t shake it. Eventually my search led me to seek assistance from the higher realms where angels and spirit guides
reside. My higher self kept urging me forward and by the time May arrived; it had led me to a person who would become not only a spiritual
mentor but a good friend as well. That person was Bobbie Martin...
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