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Coping with the Challenge of Awakening, Part 3: The 3D Anchor Role
By Jelaila Starr
written March 29, 2012

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Part 1: Family/Friend Relationships
Part 2: Sharing with Family/Friends

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As mentioned in the previous segments, a spiritual awakening is both a blessing and a curse.  Yes, we have the opportunity to break free of the 3rd dimensional (3D) prison but the price for this freedom is very high.  We must leave behind just about everything we knew.  The decision to awaken was made long before our birth; it was a soul choice made in the Interlife, the time between incarnations.  While in the Interlife, making arrangements for our future awakening, some of us decided to involve a partner.  Our partner would play the role of a 3D anchor. 

Unfortunately, we forgot that decision when we incarnated and without a handbook to guide us, the pitfalls have been many.  Many of us have experienced difficult divorces and our children bear the emotional scars.  If we could just have remembered our decision, and the role we asked our partner to play, so much pain could have been avoided.  This article along with the previous segments, are meant to act as a kind of handbook.  In this segment, I explain the various aspects of being a 3D anchor.  

The 3D Anchor Role

To understand this role, one only has to think of the role of a boat’s anchor.  Its purpose is to hold the boat in place so that it does not drift away.  The role of a 3D anchor (anchor) serves much the same purpose.  The 3D anchor provides stability for his/her spiritually awakening partner.  He/she is the one who remains firmly anchored or grounded in the 3D reality.  The benefits are many. 

Physical Support

They keep our daily life going. In our quest for enlightenment, we will disengage from many aspects of 3D reality. These could include, and are not limited to, our relationship with our partner, our children, our extended family, friends, pets, church, and job.  The reason for our disconnection is that we begin to negatively judge many aspects of 3D reality as wrong and dysfunctional.  As soon as we do that, our hearts disconnect also.  Since having a heart connection to what ever reality you are in is necessary to ground and manifest in that reality, this disconnection will create challenges for us. 

Financial Support

We may find it harder to make money.  This can take the form of losing our jobs and not being able to find another one, or one that pays as much. 

Relationship Support

Our 3D partner will also take on most of the burden of maintaining our relationships for us.  It is normal that as we explore the spiritual realms, our hearts become more connected to them than to 3D.  Our change in heart, if you will, manifests as dissatisfaction with our former reality and we find it harder to be around the people we knew.  It’s hard enough for our partners as we tend to begin judging them for various reasons, but it’s even harder for our children.  Though we still love them, they intuitively sense our dissatisfaction with our current life and take it personally.  Our emotional disconnect triggers their fear of abandonment.  Having a partner who can step in and be the one with whom they can go for emotional support is a gift. 

Mental Support

We may find it harder to feel grounded.  This can take the form of feeling we are coming unglued.  When we feel that we are coming unglued, it is hard to stay organized and focused enough to complete the ordinary tasks necessary to keep our lives running smoothly.  Our 3D partner can step in and take on some of those tasks as well as provide the loving support needed to help us through the more difficult times.

Physical Support

We may find ourselves experiencing health problems (ascension symptoms).  Having someone to help cope with discomfort, providing nurturing—sometimes it’s just a shoulder to cry on when our bodies are hurting, is a wonderful blessing.

What does the Spiritual Anchor sacrifice in order to play this role?

It is a very loving and courageous soul who enters into the contract to play the role of a 3D anchor.   Not only do they agree to forego the opportunity to ascend—temporarily for some, for the entire incarnation for others—they also give up the love, respect, affection, sexual fulfillment, appreciation and gratitude of their partner.  Many will see their families torn apart and their children emotionally scarred.  They will feel betrayed by a partner who has changed, tossing aside his/her former beliefs and affiliations, all the while using the excuse of spiritual enlightenment.  Bewildered, confused, scared and angry the 3D anchor will attempt to bring his/her partner back to their senses.  If these attempts are met with rejection, ridicule, anger or worse, ignored, divorce may be the last resort.

So, how do we salvage a relationship heading for divorce, or heal from one that has already ended?  Here are a few tips that I have found very, very effective.

  • Acknowledge that in the Interlife you asked the soul, who would become your partner to play the anchor role.  This means they would not take the spiritual journey with you but, instead, stay behind and provide stability for you while you disconnected to explore the higher realms.
  • Acknowledge and take responsibility for making the choice to change the relationship.  A relationship is like a dance and you have changed the steps of that dance…without informing your partner.
  • Acknowledge that in changing the relationship without consulting with your partner, you have essentially betrayed your partner.  In other words, you partner entered into the relationship with you based on the beliefs and principles that you had…now you have chosen to change them and without consulting with them.  Keep in mind that consulting does not mean you are asking for your partner’s permission.  On the contrary, it means that because you love, respect and cherish your partner, you are sharing your intentions and asking them to help you find a way to make the transition work so that your relationship will remain in tact.
  • Apologize for the betrayal.  This will go a long way in salvaging a failing partnership and healing the wounds for one that has already ended. 
  • Don’t try to convince, convert or discuss your beliefs with them.  Going back to segment 1, only share information when they ask and only answer what is asked.  This is your journey; not theirs.
  • Show loving, compassionate behavior by making agreements.  For example there are 2 agreements that go a long way in patching up a crumbling partnership. 
    You agree to allow your partner to express his/her concerns as you move through your spiritual awakening. 
    You agree to honor your partner’s the right to leave if he/she feels incapable of handling the changes and that you will still love them.  

It is my hope that the information in this article helps those still in a relationship with their spiritual anchor to salvage the love and heal the wounds.  For those who no longer have that option, it is my hope that you can use this knowledge to help your loved ones heal. 

In service,
Jelaila Starr
The Nibiruan Council

Author Info:
Jelaila Starr, author of We are the Nibiruans, The Mission Remembered and the highly acclaimed Keys of Compassion series, is an internationally known channel, teacher, and counselor. Through her lectures, workshops, and articles, Jelaila's message of compassion has touched the hearts of people around. Jelaila’s work inspires hope and understanding while providing solutions to some of today’s most pressing challenges.  

As a psychic/intuitive counselor, Jelaila works with individuals to assist them with emotional clearing, healing relationships, and DNA Recoding.  Jelaila's unique approach enables her clients to clearly discover who they are, what they came to do, and how to achieve it.  Jelaila can be reached by e-mail at:

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