As we move into the new emerging reality, we are being called to shed the old ways that no longer serve us. Among those ways is one that keeps us struggling financially, especially those of us who are natural born caregivers. A few definitions for the sake of clarity.
Caregivers are those who care for others. Care giving is a noble and compassionate calling; we give care to people and situations so that they heal, grow, and prosper. Yep, that’s a good thing. But like any good thing, too much or misdirected care giving can cause an imbalance. At that point it becomes caretaking.
I use the term caretaking to signify a change in power. Using the example of care giving an individual, care giving is giving care to that person when he/she cannot do for him/her self. Example, when a person is bedridden from a car accident.
Caretaking is giving care to someone who needs to do for their self in order to regain their sense of self and empowerment. Example: Continuing to care for that person after they have healed, but are stuck in self-pity, blame, etc., and unwilling to get on with their life.
Going further, when we caretake, we are taking the person’s power away by making the choices and taking the actions that they need to make, and take.
In regards to soul growth, we are actually robbing them of the opportunity for soul growth in the situation by rescueing them out of it. That is why when we rescue (caretake), the person does not seem to improve, instead, repeating the same choices and actions again and again. Hope that makes sense.
Caretaking and Financial Deprivation
If I’ve learned anything in the 20 years I’ve been counseling it is that when we get out of balance with our care giving, we suffer financially. I’ve also learned that the degree of financial struggle is equal to the amount energy we are expending. But determining where the over expenditure is occurring, as well as, what or who to let go of along with how to do it, remained the challenge. To explain, I’ll share a story from this week’s counseling sessions.
One of Kathy’s concerns during her session was the financial struggle to save money to build a nest egg. Try as she might, she seemed to only be able to keep enough to pay the bills with a little left over. Kathy felt that perhaps changing to a higher paying job would solve the problem.
When I tuned in to her guides I received a different solution; one that required something beyond changing jobs.
Kathy’s guides prompted me to ask her the following question. Stepping back to observe your life, in what areas to you feel irritation or frustration?
The one area that immediately stood out was her job. It seems that Kathy had assumed duties far above and beyond her original job description. The reason this had occurred was because her bosses knew that if something needed to be done, Kathy would find a way to get it done. Like many caregivers, Kathy was highly competent and had no problem wielding her power to get things done. In many ways Kathy was a savior to her bosses.
Of course, having all the praise and accolades meant something; it was the nurturing Kathy had wanted and needed as a child but didn’t get because both of her parents were emotionally crippled. Kathy had grown up being their caregiver. And though Kathy was clear in her decision not to bring work home, she was unaware that she was doing so anyway.
The Power of Resentment and Frustration
Kathy didn’t realize that even though she brought no work home, she was bringing home the frustration of doing more than she was getting paid for. This frustration led to resentment on the part of her inner child. You see, even though we may choose to be unconscious of where we over extend, our inner children are not. They are fully and completely aware of the amount of outgoing energy and lack of incoming energy to compensate. When we feel resentment, that is our respective inner child talking. They are letting us know that we are allowing someone to cheat us … and we are stealing energy from ourselves in order to gain the acceptance of those who are cheating us. Crazy huh?
Quantum physics teaches us that we must have energy in reserve to support new energy coming in. Money is energy. So, to build a reserve of money we must have a reserve of energy. Another way of saying it, is the outer must match the inner. When this energetic imbalance is allowed to continue, it siphons off our energy reserves.
Back to Kathy
Once Kathy realized that the reason she wasn’t able to build a financial nest egg was due to the resentment burning up her energy reserves, she realized that a job change was not the answer. The answer was to go back to her bosses and negotiate for higher pay or less work load.
Once Kathy resolves the imbalance at her current job, she will see her reserves begin to grow. If her bosses refuse to negotiate, the universe will provide a different job. Why? Because Kathy had learned the lesson about standing up for herself, asking for what she wants … something that goes against the grain with natural born caregivers.
In closing, flowing money requires that we become as conscious of our energy flow because the two are closely linked. When we find ourselves with more going out than coming in, a quick scan to areas where we feel frustration or resentment will tell us where or who we need to let go.
My thanks to Kathy for allowing me to share her story.